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Magnetic Feels
A daily(-ish) TMS journal
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Day 36: Time
Day 36: Time
It’s been two weeks since my last regularly scheduled TMS session. On Monday, Dr. Levine’s office began the process of petitioning Aetna…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
May 24, 2017
Day 35: Eat
Day 35: Eat
Every week, I sit in Dr. Levine’s office and complete a depression rating scale that includes the following section:
Mary Phillips-Sandy
May 11, 2017
Days 33–34: Care
Days 33–34: Care
The fact that I have opinions and am capable of telling you about them should tell you something else, namely, that the TMS fucking works…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
May 8, 2017
Days 29–32: Science
Days 29–32: Science
Or, some things to know about the technology and economics of TMS. Remember, I’m still not a doctor.
Mary Phillips-Sandy
May 2, 2017
Day 28: Internet
Day 28: Internet
Or, a depressed person’s catalog of the connected world
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 25, 2017
Days 25–27: Clean
Days 25–27: Clean
The medical community has a term for when you don’t get around to showering and brushing your teeth because you’re too damn depressed…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 24, 2017
Days 21–24: Orbit
Days 21–24: Orbit
Strange things are happening. Very strange. Bizarre. Let me explain.
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 19, 2017
Day 20: Selfish
Day 20: Selfish
What is going on out there? (Gestures toward the world outside my apartment.) Who knows? Not me. For the first time in my adult life, I’ve…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 13, 2017
Days 18 & 19: Landscape
Unlike pharmaceutical treatments for depression, TMS has not (yet) made much of a mark on popular culture, in any medium. Eli Lilly first…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 12, 2017
Day 17: Down
Day 17: Down
My goals for today were as follows: cook and eat a proper breakfast, groom the cat, go to the gym with the free day pass I downloaded, wash…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 9, 2017
Days 13–16: Halfway
Days 13–16: Halfway
Yesterday’s appointment was #16. That means I’ve passed the halfway point for the daily protocol. Hooray?
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 6, 2017
Days 11 & 12: Response
Days 11 & 12: Response
When I arrived for Thursday’s appointment, after missing Wednesday’s, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But the only thing Kristy said was a…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Apr 2, 2017
Day 10: Unmade
Day 10: Unmade
There are two new voicemails on my phone. I haven’t listened to them; I’m not going to. One is from Dr. Levine’s office. The other is Dr…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 30, 2017
Day 9: Sounds
Day 9: Sounds
Music! Remember that? Obviously YOU do. I’m not sure if I do.
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 28, 2017
Days 7 & 8: Inventory
Days 7 & 8: Inventory
Yesterday’s depression treatment was depressing.
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 25, 2017
Day 6: Different
Day 6: Different
Sophie has been out the past few days, which means my treatments have been administered by her colleague — let’s call her Kristy. I like…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 22, 2017
Day 5: Failure
Day 5: Failure
Disclaimer: In case it isn’t obvious, I am not a doctor. I barely passed high school biology. I am not here to advise you. YMMV. Etc.
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 21, 2017
Day 4: Recap
Day 4: Recap
One week down, eight to go. Here’s the recap.
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 18, 2017
Day 3: Cost
Day 3: Cost
I’m only doing this because I can afford to.
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 17, 2017
Day 2: asdfjkl;
Day 2: asdfjkl;
Here is an incomplete list of interesting physical experiences I have successfully described to other people.
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 16, 2017
Day 1: Familiar
Day 1: Familiar
The promised mega-blizzard turned out to be nothing more than a wimpy winter storm, leaving the city with half a foot of slushy snow. I…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 15, 2017
Day 0: Inert
Tomorrow evening, assuming the subway doesn’t shut down, I am going to see a man about getting my brain zapped with a magnet. There is a…
Mary Phillips-Sandy
Mar 13, 2017
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