Adhivāsanā: Day Nine — Restlessness
It had been a while since I faced desires to leave. Consistent progress and the delights of bhanga held the restlessness at bay fairly well — until today.
I arrogantly felt like I had learned everything I could for now, and my practice suffered. I couldn’t tell if I was progressing or regressing.
(I’d later learn that as one practices, the only way is forward. One regresses or strays from the path when they begin to entertain feelings of craving or aversion again.)
Most of the day went by without incident, before I was visited by a familiar sensation. At the tail end of my afternoon practice, after struggling to even start at the top of my head, hot lead crept into my veins again, spreading like a cancer.
All I could do was smile, focus, and sit through it.
After about five minutes, the sensation subsided.
That night, we discovered that we’d break noble silence after our morning group sit. I figured my monkey mind could sit still until then.
