What Does Burnout Feel Like?
It feels like $*&@, let me tell you
Burnout feels like you don’t care anymore.
Burnout feels like walking through mud.
Burnout is brain-fog and heart-freeze all in one.
Burnout is when the voice that tells you that you don’t belong wins.
Burnout is when you lose your temper over nothing.
Burnout is when you cry for no good reason.
Burnout is when you are not performing as well as you used to.
Burnout feels like the walls are closing in.
Burnout feels lonely.
Burnout feels like running on empty.
Burnout is when you have nothing left to give.
Burnout is when you feel that you are rubbish at your job when you’re not.
Burnout is when the thought of returning to work after a break makes you feel sick, panicked and overwhelmed.
Burnout is when you are forced to do a 180 to save your soul.
For some people, burnout means they need to save their life.
I have spent a large part of this year curled up in bed like the girl in the photograph. Even when I didn’t, it was what I felt like doing. I felt drained in every way- emotionally, mentally and physically.
After a lifetime of doing too much and trying to prove my worth, exhaustion finally caught up with me.
It’s great to have ambitions and goals, but not at the expense of caring for yourself. I realised that I needed to learn to look after myself before anyone else.
Burnout is commoner amongst women. Burnout is a form of chronic stress, and can occur from parenting, work or a combination of things. Let me tell you, it’s well worth preventing rather than dealing with it when it happens.
What I wish I had known about how to prevent burnout:
- Understand that my self-worth does not come from achievements and people-pleasing
- Learn to recognise when I am tired
- Be able to stop when I am tired, and not be ashamed to admit it
- Be able to ask for help
- Know how to ask for time off
- Understand that I am not immune from burnout
- Learn more about burnout before it happened to me
- Understand that nothing is worth working through burnout, especially my mental health
- Be brave enough to be more true to myself
I think it is fair to say that many women put others before themselves- our families, our clients, our workplaces. No wonder we are more likely to burnout.
If you do burnout, it’s not the worst thing in the world.
In fact, it might be the best thing that happened to you.
If you have burned out, it’s okay. You simply didn’t have some the resources necessary to stay away from it the first time. We all have lessons to learn in life, so try to embrace the opportunity you have been given.
What have I learned from burning out?
- How to take time off
- How to do nothing
- How to take time to do things that nourish me- like meditation and yoga
- How to take time to process difficult things
- Recognise what my priorities are and work towards living true to what matters to me
- I have gotten to know myself better — for example, I know that I get stressed easily, and this is something I can learn to manage. I have also learned that I love writing, and it is something I am good at.
- To value myself- my health, my peace and my comfort. No amount of achievement is worth compromising on this.
What happens next?
Good question — I am still finding out! Dr Claire Ashley says it can take between 1–3 years to recover from burnout. It is a process.
What I am realising is that this is an opportunity to rewrite my life- to be able to live in a way more aligned with who I am, in a way that suits me. It is a wonderful opportunity to discover parts of myself that were buried so deep that I didn’t know they existed. In a way, it is a form of rebirth.
Every transition is painful. Through the pain, something new and refreshing can emerge. Burnout may be just what you needed to redirect you in the way that your heart calls to you.
What are your experiences of burnout? What have you learned? Any tips or tricks on getting through it?
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