How Anger Can Be Channeled to Be Productive
The angrier you are, the more likely you are to be an aggressive driver1, experience anxiety and depression2, and seek revenge3. However, it can also have a meaningful and persuasive influence4. It can rally you into action5 and make you proactive6. For example, getting angry while negotiating with someone might get that person to give more to you, but this might only happen when you have a higher status and negotiations are private. Also, it’s just as likely that getting angry might hurt negotiations just as much as it can help7. It can make you approach a problem or fight it8,9, find constructive solutions10,11, or engage in counterproductive behaviors12.
By finding actions to take and by regulating our emotions, you can make your anger beneficial and proactive13. So, how can you manage your anger?
1. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: This type of therapy reduces anger14, because it focuses on behavior modifications while challenging negative thoughts through processes like rational emotive therapy15.
2. Anger Management Programs: These types of programs do help to reduce anger, aggression, and loss of self-control, even in children16. Look for programs near you.
3. Forgive: Learning to forgive reduces anger17, reduces stress, and improves mental health18, including reducing anxiety and depression and promoting hope19. Additionally, when anger is strongly directed inward, people with a lot of self-forgiveness have lower rates of suicidal behavior than people with low self-forgiveness. When anger is directed outward, high self-forgiveness keeps suicidal behaviors low20. Through forgiveness, we increase our positive thoughts about the person who offended us, which reduces angry thoughts21. Forgiveness is not about forgetting or excusing what the person did22. As North (1987)23 beautifully describes it: “our resentment is to be overcome not by denying ourselves the right to that resentment, but by endeavoring to view the wrongdoer with compassion, benevolence, and love, while recognizing that he has willfully abandoned his right to them” (p. 502). The person who wronged you is not excused for the behavior, and justice can still be obtained while you learn to forgive24. Trust may not be restored and reuniting is not necessary. It doesn’t even matter how you achieve forgiveness25, because forgiving is about you and your thoughts, not about the other person Here are two processes that have been shown to help:
a. Enright & Fitzgibbons (2015)26: First, uncover your feelings about the situation. Second, decide and commit to forgiving this person. Third, cultivate compassion about the person. Fourth, reflect on how it feels to work toward forgiveness, finding new meaning and personal connections. These four categories are further broken down into 20 steps, so feel free to check out their article.
b. Smallen (2019)27: There are seven steps within this model. First, identify the injustice and your right to feel resentment. Second, uncover how you feel, think, and experience what happened all while being unconditionally accepting of yourself. Third, make a willful choice to let go of the anger and resentment and offer compassion to the person (resistance to this step should be acknowledged and reflected by immediately going to the last step). Fourth, broaden your perspective about the person by putting yourself in his or her shoes (ask yourself: “When have I done something similar?”). Fifth, do love-kindness meditation (which can be found in my Tips for Connectedness article and is helpful in increasing self-compassion28, Sixth, journal and reflect on your emotions; give new meaning to the experience; and be aware of how your progressing through the forgiveness process.
Forgiveness really is a beneficial tactic in addressing anger. You can still seek justice while learning to forgive, but the idea is to find compassion and reduce the anger so that when you take action, you’re being proactive and constructive.
1.Bogdan, Măirean, Havârneanu (2016); 2. Ng, Sorensen, Zhang, & Yim (2019); 3. Shaver et al. (1987); 4. Walter, Tkachinsky, Pelled, & Nabi (2019); 5. Smith & Ellsworth (1985); 6. Parker et al. (2006); 7. Hankser (2017); 8. Frijda et al. (1989); 9. Shaver et al. (1987); 10. Averill (1982); 11. Fitness (2000); 12. Fox & Spector (1999); 13. Liebel (2017); 14. (Fernandez, Malvaso, Day, & Guharajan (2018); 15. Meichenbaum (1976); 16. Candelaria, Fedewa, & Ahn (2012); 17. Mela, Baetz, Marcoux, Delury, Cooper, & Sajobi (2017); 18. Toussaint, Shields, & Slavich (2016); 19. Wade et al. (2014); 20. Macaskill (2012); 21. Wade & Worthington (2003); 22. Worthington (2005); 23. North (1987); 24. Strelan (2018); 25. Wade, Hoyt, Kidwell, & Worthington (2013); 26. Enright & Fitzgibbons (2015); 27. Smallen (2019); 28. Galante, Galante, Bekkers, & Gallacher (2014)
