There IS Someone Out There For You
Here are some things you can do to call them in.
Right now, there are more ways than ever for people to connect with each other to find love. And yet, it seems that so many are struggling harder than ever to find the kind of soulmate relationship that most of us so deeply want.
You may feel like you’ve already tried everything under the sun.
Maybe you’ve already got profiles listed on half a dozen dating apps, but no matter how you tweak and adjust your photos and profiles and requirements for who you swipe left on, your dates keep turning out to be duds.
Maybe you’ve tried a matchmaking service only to discover you don’t click with any of the people that the algorithm says should be a close match.
Maybe you’ve tried speed dating. Or asking friends to set you up with their friends or their awesome S.O.’s friends. Or (shudder) let your Mom set you up with her church friend’s single nephew.
Maybe you’re tired of looking, or you’re starting to feel like you might be doomed to be lonely for the rest of your life.
You are not doomed. But it is possible that you are unconsciously doing a few things that push love away. Here are some examples with links to exercises that you can do to help you draw love to you instead.
Scarcity Mindset
Having a scarcity mindset means that you see the world as a place with limited resources, where there isn’t enough of something (love, money, etc) to go around. This may manifest itself in feels that all the good ones are already taken or that you are too late or missed your chance at love. Scarcity mindset is rooted in fear. The remedy is to shift yourself into a mindset of abuncance. In this article about Scarcity Mindset I detail some good exercises to help you make that shift.
The Grass Is Always Greener
Thinking in this way may seem like the opposite of having a scarcity mindset, because you believe that there is always someone better out there, just another profile swipe away, but this kind of thinking can also be pushing the love you desire away. Human beings aren’t comsumer electronics. Trying to compare features and price across multiple platforms can result in you always looking away, looking to the next person, and never allowing yourself to really get to know and appreciate the person in front of you right now. In this article I offer some helpful tips on what to do if this sounds like you.
Being a Martyr
Many of us, especially women, have been taught that self-sacrifice is a good and noble thing. That it is better to do things for others than for ourselves, or even when it isn’t the best thing for ourselves to do. But excessive self-sacrifice can lead to feelings of depletion, depression, and resentfulness toward those who take without giving anything back in return. Taking care of ourselves and our own needs leads to abundance, and it is always better to give from a place of abundance than from a place of scarcity. If you are someone who martyrs yourself in your relationships, read this article for some help on how to bring your relationships back into balance and alignment. Because being a martyr isn’t good for you or your partner.
Make Room For Love
Are you crowding new love out of your life with left over relics for past relationships and old trauma? Decluttering your home to make space for your soulmate can allow you to let love into your life. In this article I run you through some exercises to make room in your home and your heart for new love.
Make Time For Love
Being busy is a great way to keep your mind distracted from loneliness, but if you’re too busy to even think about love, you may not even recognize it when it’s standing before you. Make time in your schedule for the person you want to call in. And while you’re waiting for them, you can use that time for the kind of self-love that prepares you for the love you’ve been waiting for. This article has some great tips to help.
Try Dating Yourself
We teach others how to treat us with every interaction. But what if you’ve never been treated the way you want and don’t even know how it feels to be truly treasured and treated well? Well, you can start by treating yourself the way you want to be treated. Lean into it and really treat yourself well. Let yourself get used to it open yourself up to finding the person who will naturally treat you that way too. This article has suggestions to get you started with dating yourself!
Repeating Negative Dating Patterns
Do you ever get to the end of a relationship, or even the end of a date, and have a feeling of déjà vu? Does it feel like you keep dating the same person or getting yourself into the same situation over and over again? In spite of everything you do to avoid it? This article gives you all the tools you need to break out of the negative thought patterns that are keeping you stuck in the wrong kinds of relationships.
There you have it, seven ways you can work on calling new love into your life! If you read through these and recognize one or more in yourself, please click the link and try out the exercises. I’d love to hear what you think in the comments. Thanks!
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