A Journey of the Smallest Steps
Building Persistence
One fall day in 2021, not too long ago, I took my eldest daughter, 8, for her soccer practice. Since my younger ones were, at a rare occasion, not with me I was looking forward to making use of this time and running 5k around the soccer field. I was all set up with my Run Tracker app and an invigorating playlist dubbed “Gymnasia” to get me through to that finish line. Eye of the Tiger, check. Rang de Basanti, check. Born to Run, check.
It was late in the day and my energy was quite spent on school runs, laundry, vacuuming, and my toddler’s potty-training tantrums. I needed all the motivation I could get. I can do this!
Ten minutes in and I knew it was not going to be a day when I’d sail through most of the distance. No ma’am, no way. The remaining miles seemed as far as Saturn.
I had to summon all sorts of motivation gods: from music, from the poetry I imagined in the azure sky, I tried to tune into the birdsongs and notice the shades of leaves that were slowly beginning to turn now that fall was making its presence known. I tried to clear my mind with meditation. I even resolved to be a brown, female Dale Carnegie of self-motivation for the next 30 minutes if it came to it. But, alas, none of these strategies did any magic.
What actually worked the most that day was taking breaks. At the end of each lap, marked by a majestic oak tree, I’d plop myself on the ground embracing its welcoming branches, gently asking me to slow down, to pay attention to my body and spirit.
Toward the end of each lap, as I saw the crown of the oak peeping at the horizon, beckoning me with its swaying arms, I pushed myself harder and harder. My muscles breathed in a new rush of adrenaline. It became easier to run faster given sweet respite was so close. I visualized myself in the cradle of the oak’s shade and bolted to the end imagining myself as Secretariat reborn. And thankfully every time I made it, albeit huffing and puffing and falling on the soft grass with absolutely no grace. But the point I would like to reiterate is: I made it. I made it to the shadow of my tree-friend, my make-do finish line.
I’ve theoretically known and often practiced these techniques of (1) breaking down a difficult task into smaller doable ones, (2) visualizing success, and (3) harnessing the energy of music and natural elements. Still, I often fail to execute them when required. It seemed like I was missing an important fourth strategy to make these stick.
That autumn evening, as the geese and larks made their way back home, as the sky blushed and the crisp air tickled my throat, I promised myself I’d do better at internalizing an additional lesson: of remembering my little victories. Of holding onto those moments when we achieve something which seemed incredibly difficult to us (not others). Of remembering how unbelievably proud we felt when we managed to escape from the bed and walk to the loo even as depression shrouded us in its warm, thorny blanket. Of how a distance that I have trained myself to run regularly seemed interminable until I crossed those shorter finish lines, again and again. And then again.
We have to remember that sometimes we aren’t running one grand race but many shorter ones and at the completion of every lap we must give ourselves a little pat on the shoulder and take a breath. We have to imagine, recognize and celebrate all the invisible ribbons we are breaking through, often everyday of our lives.
The journey of a thousand mile starts with a single step — Lao Tzu.
Indeed.
Too often, regretfully, I have quit when I should’ve just taken a break. Instead of hanging up the proverbial gloves, I should’ve just sat out for a bit, taken a deeper breath. Many times I have pushed myself so hard that my muscles and mind just gave up on me.
Too often we think that quitting is for losers when it’s not. Taking a break is a gesture of self-care. It is a strategy to refresh and reenergize to get the job done. It will make us persevere in things that can get tough for us. Things that are often meant to be a pursuit of a lifetime and need to be tended on both good days and days when we are broken and battered.
And so, I hope I will learn — we will learn - yet again, that persistence is important. Showing up is what counts on the days when you did not wake up feeling like a ninja ready to take on the world. Take small breaks when the going seems too hard and long. Heck, if you need it, take a longer break but if your goal is truly something meaningful to you, then keep going.
Writing is like running. There are days when words gush out like adrenaline, every syllable eager to tumble out. It is an exhilarating experience. You feel high on the rush. But then there are those other days, when our minds are a jumble, when words are weary, when poetry sounds like a guitar in need of a tuning. And those are the days when we just have to show up — for a little bit- run a small lap of words, maybe do some editing planks or pick up some reading dumbbells.
Whether it is running, writing or any other passion we pursue, in this new year, let’s just keep putting one step after the other, one word followed by another. My goal is to build persistence, one brick at a time, in the things that matter the most to me: fitness and writing. What are the bricks that will build your 2022?
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Thanks to my friend, Ravyne Hawke of Promptly Written for providing me with a prompt to start off the year on a positive note.
A big shoutout to superwoman Ali. If you are looking for some true inspiration to overcome your fears and change your mindset, read Ali’s piece here.
Alternatively, I really liked L Burton’s approach to the new year. She is welcoming a single word to guide her through the year and it really spoke to me that she chose one that constantly helps us to bring us back to what matters: focus. Read her piece here. I love the power of words and I think I am going to borrow this word from L Burton.
Also, I was not writing during the holidays so I missed the opportunity of participating in Winston’s New Year Resolution’s Challenge over at Coffee Times but I have read some truly refreshing pieces that were submitted, and I highly recommend you do so too.
Lastly, I wrote this essay a few weeks ago about “the richest woman I know”. I’ve been told that some of my readers made some special, heartfelt calls after they read it and for that I am so thankful: The Richest Woman I Know. A tribute to generosity, love, and… | by Maria H. Khan | Coffee Times | Dec, 2021 | Medium
Thanks for reading and a Happy New Year to all!
