Anger and Resentment: Relationship Killers
Anger hurts. It’s a reaction to not getting what we want or need. Anger escalates to rage when we feel assaulted or threatened. It could be physical, emotional, or abstract, such as an attack on our reputation. When we react disproportionately to our present circumstance, it’s because we’re really reacting to something in our past event — often from childhood.
Many of us have a lot of it and for good reason, but we don’t know how to express it effectively. We may be in relationships with people who contribute less that they do, who break promises and commitments, violate our boundaries, or disappointment or betray us. We may feel trapped, burdened with relationships woes, responsibility for children, or with financial troubles. Many of us don’t see a way out yet still love our partner or feel too guilty to leave.
Codependency Causes Anger and Resentment
Codependency and its symptoms of denial, dependency, lack of boundaries, and dysfunctional communication produce anger. Denial prevents us from accepting reality and recognizing our feelings and needs. Dependency on others spawns attempts to control them to feel better, rather than to initiate effective action. But when other people don’t do what we want, we feel angry, victimized, unappreciated or uncared for, and powerless — unable to be…
