Adventures In Suburbia

I’d never heard a house music remix of Taylor Swift before. I tried not to listen as she crooned about how we were…

On Recycling.

The blood was rushing from my face and around my left ring-finger was a cocktail napkin growing more red with each passing heartbeat…

Musical Chairs 

She was curious about the pig in my online dating profile — a hobby I’ve very reluctantly been indulging in to meet new people. We…

Americium and Me

Half of my beard is exceptionally wet from the drool running down my face. It’s somewhere past 3:30 in the morning. I’ve been…

Chile and Shame.

I noticed the three of them staring at me first. As I raised the cider to my face, I tilted the blood red swill a little bit in…

House Husbandry 

“There’s no stigma here. Not even for online dating.” Paul said. He’s a spectacled bartender at the friendly neighborhood…

Oddball Sports

Every single piñata on the ceiling had dead eyes. Not like the dead eyes strippers give you as you’re tucking a $20 in their ass for…

On Teamsters and Authority.

“I’m going to need you to keep it moving.” He said.