15 More Quotes About Masturbation

Because talking about self-service never gets old

Photo by 4zeva on DepositPhotos

National Masturbation Month is about halfway over and I’ve been talking about self-service quite a lot — but there’s always more to say. Here are 15 more quotes about masturbation for your one-handed reading pleasure.

1. “The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to get dressed up for it.”
-Truman Capote

2. “If God had intended us not to masturbate, he would’ve made our arms shorter.”
-George Carlin

3. “The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well.”
-Sigmund Freud

4. “We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie.”
-Joycelyn Elders

5. “I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.”
-Anna Bayes

6. “Reality is in the hand of the masturbator.”
-Mokokoma Mokhonoana

7. “Masturbation is not the happiest form of sexuality, but the most advisable for him who wants to be alone and think.”
-Robert Anton Wilson