Smart(ish) Money Moves From a Prostitute
She robbed my buddy blind
Let’s address this right at the beginning: the prostitute stole money from my buddy.
That’s not entirely ethical, but neither is engaging in illegal prostitution.
It’s illegal in the United States, anyway.
The legitimacy and legality of sex work aside, it’s never a good idea to break a deal and take money from someone without living up to your end of the bargain.
But it’s also a good idea not to be naive and stupid with your money.
Like my unfortunate friend, Daryl.
So, here are smart money moves we can learn from his experience and her ethically ambiguous and opportunistic financial maneuvers.
The Hooker With a Heart of (Fake) Gold
Daryl had just settled into his balcony view, soaking in the warm Florida sun, when he noticed a striking figure walking down below.
It was as if someone had answered his prayers for company.
A beautiful young woman immaculately put together, looking like she had walked straight out of Hollywood.
He couldn’t help but zone in on her, and before long he found himself making conversation with her in the lobby. She seemed very friendly and outgoing, so much more forward than he was used to.
He’d later find out that she was actually testing the waters with him to see how much she could get away with — apparently finding out whether this kind stranger was worth pursuing for financial gain or not.
Little did he know it would eventually result in him losing a small fortune.
Daryl’s encounter with the mysterious woman in Florida would have made one of Casanova’s bold moves pale in comparison.
As he was charmed by this beautiful and slightly younger woman, beneath those striking looks lurked the sting of an unscrupulous con artist.
She asked him plenty of questions, testing his responses while leading their conversation toward her hidden agenda.
In hindsight, it’s obvious that she was making sure my buddy could be duped into parting with his money without too much struggle. Daryl had no idea what was going on back then though.
All he knew was that this lovely creature seemed friendly enough yet kept him off-balance.
Reeling him right into her web so she could eventually get his cash.
That meeting paved the way for some fun moments, but soon enough my friend realized he’d been bamboozled by a master seductress.
The Elevator Ride To Heaven and Hell
As Daryl describes it, everything began in the hotel lobby.
The woman — aka, the prostitute — sashayed up to him with a big smile. After bantering back and forth, she made her intentions clear. She wanted to know if he wanted company.
And she asked if he was ok with making a “donation” for her time.
That’s when Daryl should have bailed out. But he was drunk (read: very drunk).
Instead of refusing her offer outright, he negotiated for a lower price. When she acquiesced, they headed to the hotel elevators.
On the way up to his room, they chatted about normal everyday things. At least, that’s what he thought. I think she was feeling him out, building rapport, and making him comfortable.
Everything a good con artist might do.
Knowing the full story now, this elevator is important. It took Daryl up to heaven and — much too soon afterward — took him straight to hell.
The Hotel Room, a Nieve Fool, and a Money Grab
In his hotel room, the two of them quickly undressed.
Naked on the bed, she asked for the $300 that he had promised. He handed it over without a conversation. That was not his first mistake but it was a big one.
It was probably her first indication that he didn’t know what he was doing.
She smelled an easy mark.
After picking his brain about the experience, this is how I imagine it went down in the hotel room:
“What are we doing?” she asked, sitting naked on the bed next to him. A sexy distraction. A silent promise of sex clouding his brain.
“Everything,” he replied.
She knew she had him. “Not for $300. If you donate a little more, we can do that.”
“Ok,” he said, like a trained puppy.
She grinned. “Another $200?”
“Sure.”
Coincidently, she had Cash App. He transferred the money right away. That’s right: He had already forked over $500 without getting anything tangible in return.
As an experienced swindler with street smarts, the woman had one last thing she needed to do.
Condoms, Manipulation, and a Ghost
After transferring the money, Daryl climbed back into bed.
The two of them sat there naked for a moment. Daryl told me later that he was more than ready for sex at that point.
He had stopped critically thinking a long time ago.
Probably downstairs in the hotel lobby.
A woman should probably never underestimate how mindboggling their naked body can be to a horny man. Daryl lost all common sense (if he had any left at that point).
She asked if he had any condoms.
He didn’t. Rookie mistake, he’d say later over beers at one of our local hangouts overlooking the Ohio River.
Of course, condoms were essential. For her, for him, for everyone.
He had to go get them in the lobby. Instead of demanding that she go with him, taking back some of his money, or taking her clothes with him (all things I suggested when he first told me the story), he left her there in the room by herself.
Yep, he trusted her.
Some people really shouldn’t do drugs, I teased him. What did he think was going to happen?
You can imagine him buying condoms in the hotel shop, riding back up the elevator thinking everything was fine, and walking to his hotel room bubbling with excitement.
Then opening the door to an empty room.
Smart Money Takeaways From a Prostitute
Here are some takeaways from my friend’s experience:
- Get payment upfront — The first smart money move is to always get payment upfront. This will ensure that no matter what, you are protected and can count on your payment even if something goes wrong with the transaction.
- Build rapport and trust — Building rapport and trust with customers is the second smart money move, as this will ensure a successful transaction. Customers must feel comfortable enough to hand over their money or they won’t be an effective customer base.
- Test your investments — Test potential investments by seeing if there are any gaps in knowledge or experience. You may have great ideas but not know how to execute them. Test to see if you have wiggle room for negotiations, too.
- Show them what they will get — Demonstrating that the other person will get what they want out of the agreement is key to making sure they feel secure heading into it. The prostitute did this by sitting naked on the bed.
These four smart money moves can help you make better investments and gain more success in your financial dealings.
As the last suggestion, follow through on your deals.
Don’t ghost your business partners. If you promise something, do it. If you take payment for something, deliver. Maybe there is a gray area sometimes but I think it’s often best to not make enemies.
Professional or otherwise.
Final Thoughts
Daryl confided in me that he feels very embarrassed about his experience. Also, quite a bit of shame.
For his privacy, I did change his name.
However, I’m glad he agreed for me to tell his story. If nothing else, to help others avoid his mistakes, not get duped, and perhaps the wisdom to stay squarely on the side of the law.
Thanks for reading!
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- 13 Things You (Probably) Don’t Know About Cum
- 5 Sexy Dates That Are Absurdly Overrated
- The 7 Deadly Sins Of Sex
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