FOR LOVE OR PEANUT BUTTER
A Text Message Essay From A 42-Year-Old Man
Thesis: It’s not me, it’s you.
Faithful readers, we’ve nearly reached the end of the story! The man I gave up peanut butter for will be revealed to you oh so soon. (If you’re joining us for the first time, click here to start from the beginning!) When we last parted, Carter had gotten clingy and Dex and I were on a break. One of these relationships finally came to a head…
The volume of texts and calls from Carter and the push for me to come visit him escalated as quickly as that street fight in Anchorman. I wanted to go into hiding like sweet Brick after he killed that guy with a trident.
After a month in Tahoe, I had to get back to LA for a follow-up doctor’s appointment to check on some lumps in my breasts. Woohoo! That’s stressful for any woman, and I had a little bonus anxiety since my mom and aunt have both had breast cancer twice. The thought of spending a night at Carter’s house was just compounding my anxiety.
After consulting with my mom and sister, I realized that I didn’t actually want to visit Carter, I was doing it for his sake. It was obvious to them, but I hadn’t noticed this remnant of my people-pleasing habits camouflaged inside my lack of self-trust like a chameleon. So I poured myself…
