Guidelines for Slackjaw Submissions

Jan 16, 2018 · 2 min read

Welcome Writer,

As the #1 destination on Medium for all-things humor, and think-pieces on cats, Slackjaw wouldn’t be what it is without you, High Warlock of Funny Ideas. That said, we do accept submissions from humor writers of all backgrounds and extraterrestrial lifeforms.

If you’re interested in submitting a humor piece to Slackjaw, please email with a private link to your unpublished Medium draft.

Please keep in mind…

  • Our pieces fall under 1,000 words. Less is better. But not too less. Most pieces are 300–750 words.
  • We publish funny writing: premise-driven humor pieces, humorous essays, illustrated and cartoon pieces, and occasionally comedic fiction — if it feels right. We don’t publish fake-news/Onion-style pieces.
  • To get a feel for what we like, please read Slackjaw. Then check out our trending pieces and greatest hits.
  • Send us an unpublished, private Medium draft. Attachments and pasted texts scare us!
  • Current Slackjaw writers, and new writers, should email all drafts to
  • We ask our writers to submit Medium member (gated paywall) pieces. This ensures that you get paid and reach more readers with Medium curation.
  • Only one submission at a time, please. Contrary to popular belief, we aren’t multitasking robots.
  • Expect a reply in one to two weeks — sometimes more, sometimes less — depending on the alignment of Earth’s rotational axis with the business hours of your local Costco.

If your piece fits, we’ll add you as a writer and publish it.

We pay writers

We believe in paying all Slackjaw writers so that they can purchase coffee, groceries, extra bitcoin, and those cool bouncy balls you find in toy stores. We pay on every Slackjaw piece via Medium’s partner program (free to join). Some stats:

  • Our top-5 earning pieces published Dec. 2019-Feb. 2020 have, as of March 2020, earned their authors $1,038, $953, $708, $565, and $417.
  • These were organic Medium earnings, all paid directly to our authors.
  • Although these were our top-earning pieces, we commonly publish stories that earn our writers $25-$50+ per piece.

We get way more submissions than we can publish. To improve your odds…

Farewell and prosper,

The Slackjaw Editors (and Matthew McConaughey)


Medium humor. Large laughs.

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