Guidelines for Slackjaw Submissions

Jan 16, 2018 · 3 min read

Welcome Writer,

As the #1 destination on Medium for all-things humor, and think-pieces on cats, Slackjaw wouldn’t be what it is without you, High Warlock of Funny Ideas. That said, we do accept submissions from humor writers of all backgrounds and extraterrestrial lifeforms.

Slackjaw submissions are closed starting May 1 and will re-open on May 10 — to give us time to handle the glorious Slackjaw Challenge.

Please keep in mind…

  • Our pieces fall under 1,000 words. Less is better. But not too less. Most pieces are 300–800 words.
  • We publish funny writing: premise-driven humor pieces, humorous essays, and a bit of short comedic fiction — if it feels right. We don’t publish fake-news/Onion-style pieces.
  • We also happily publish illustrated and cartoon pieces. Here are two examples. We don’t currently publish single-panel (single-image) cartoons, as we prefer pieces with more than one illustration.
  • Send us previously unpublished work.
  • To get a feel for what we like, please read Slackjaw.
  • Current Slackjaw writers, and new writers, should email all drafts to
  • Send us an unpublished, private Medium draft. Attachments and pasted texts scare us!
  • We ask our writers to submit Medium member (gated paywall) pieces. This ensures that you get paid and reach more readers with Medium curation.
  • Only one submission at a time, please. Contrary to popular belief, we aren’t multitasking robots.
  • Expect a reply in one to two weeks — sometimes more, sometimes less — depending on the alignment of Earth’s rotational axis with the business hours of your local Costco.
  • As of Summer 2020, we get around 125 submissions per week and we accept 10-15% of those.

If your piece fits, we’ll add you as a writer and publish it.

Slackjaw’s Current Submission Theme: Family and Parenting

  • We’d love to see your submissions on a specific topic, which we’ll rotate every few months.
  • Current theme: Family and Parenting. Send us your best humor and satire writing on family, parents, grandparents, siblings, and the like. We will feature these pieces on Slackjaw starting in March 2021.
  • Submissions should follow the regular guidelines above.
  • If you’re submitting a Theme Month piece, give your email the subject “Theme Submission: [Your piece title]”
  • Regular Slackjaw submissions remain open as normal: we’ll still accept submissions on any other topic!
  • Theme Month submissions are featured prominently on our homepage and are more likely to be featured in our weekly newsletter, Yapjaw, which reaches 30,000+ readers.

We pay writers

We believe in paying all Slackjaw writers so that they can purchase coffee, groceries, extra bitcoin, and those cool bouncy balls you find in toy stores. We pay on every Slackjaw piece via Medium’s partner program (free to join). Some stats:

  • Our top 5 highest-earning pieces published in 2020 have earned their authors $3,496, $2,821, $2,483, $2,255, and $1,635.
  • These were organic Medium earnings, all paid directly to our authors. Although these were our top-earning pieces, we commonly publish stories that earn our writers $25-$100+, per piece.

We get way more submissions than we can publish. To improve your odds…

Farewell and prosper,

The Slackjaw Editors (and Matthew McConaughey)


Medium humor. Large laughs.

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