Yapjaw: Wake Me Up When September Ends
Slackjaw readers and patrons of comedy, my name is Adam Dietz and I am the editor of Slackjaw’s monthly newsletter, Yapjaw. Each month, I will showcase the best and brightest humor on Slackjaw in addition to some other cool stuff from equally cool spots.
We’re back! And this time, it’s personal. What a wild couple of months it has been. I got married, I watched the horror movie “The Hand” with Michael Caine and my wife and I bought a metal detector. So yeah, I think saying that blessings abound might be something of an understatement. In any case, it’s great to be back.
On this week’s edition of Yapjaw, we’re talking faculty self-assessments, celebrity booze brands, and hummus. Want the goods? Keep reading!
Slackjaw’s Best In Show:
Faculty Self-Assessment Highlights From That English Professor Who Teaches In A Tank Top And Flip-Flops by Matthew Thiele
I Was In One Successful Film Franchise 15 Years Ago, So It’s Time I Launched An Overpriced Alcohol Brand by Emily Kapp & Daniel Stillman
Your Boyfriend’s Parents’ Bathroom: A Step-by-Step Guide by Eli Burnstein
A List Of Self-Improved Monsters by Angus Duffin
Great Work From Other Great Places:
Did You Write a Poem About Your Grandmother’s Comb? Open Calls from Rad Litmags That Want to Hear from You by Amy Rothschild in Points In Case
Who Made This Hummus? by Colin Nissan in McSweeney’s
Once an Untalented Hollywood Executive, I’ve Found My Voice as a Prompt Artist by J.J. Anselmi in Greener Pastures Magazine
From The Slackjaw Editors’ Desk:
reCaptchas Written By Your Dad by Adam Dietz & Troy Doetch in McSweeney’s
From 800 Words to 80,000: Short Humor Writers on Becoming Authors | Slackjaw | Medium Day 2023 featuring Sarah James
Editor’s Note:
You might think that after several months away from this newsletter that I’d have a really killer idea for my first editor’s note back. Unfortunately, this is not the case. I spent some time in the lab trying to cook up some tasty ideas and ultimately all I could think of was Michael Caine’s 1981 horror movie “The Hand.”
Best known as something I referenced earlier in the newsletter, The Hand stars famed (Jaws IV and Austin Powers III) actor Michael Caine as an illustrator who loses his hand in a freak auto accident. The hand returns on its own, and sort of tries to enact revenge on anyone who slights Caine’s character, which is pretty much everybody. This guy is a punching bag.
My main issue with The Hand was NOT ENOUGH HAND. I’m sitting here watching a marriage unravel as this illustrator’s wife leaves him for a yoga instructor when all I want is this stupid looking hand to cause a little bit of mischief. Michael Caine’s character loses his comic strip, his wife, his daughter, and sure, his dignity, meanwhile the hand is just kind of waiting in the background biding its time. Oliver Stone (shocklingly) directed The Hand so there’s probably some smart political commentary in there that I’m not getting. I say that when you make a horror movie called The Hand, you should make sure there’s a lot of hand in it.
The Pope’s Exorcist while being inferior to The Hand, did, in fact, feature a lot of scenes with the Pope’s exorcist. Most of the scenes in fact! Oliver Stone would try to fool us again years later when he made a movie called JFK that didn’t have JFK in it.
The Final Bell:
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Until the next edition of Yapjaw, take it easy.
