Navigating, Branding, and Curling Up (and more!)
Content from the week ending October 5, 2024, and Scott’s update
Links to all of last week’s content are below.
New Writers
A round of applause for our newest writers. Welcome to you all!
Eugene A. Nell: “Eugene A. Nell is the pen name of Barry McKinney, a writer of essays, journalistic endeavor, creative non-fiction, prose poetry. He asserts the pen name allows him full creative license.”
Joy: “I am a writer who wants to spread knowledge about mental wellbeing. As a psychologist, I strongly believe that everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has their own mountain within, whether that is an insecurity, self doubt or trauma, we can always overcome it.”
Ty Kania: “A bipolar rugby player with no knees who writes on his journey to a mental health institution.”
Scott’s Weekly Update
I hate the days I wake up angry.
My head runs full of conversations that either I’ve already had or need to have. I imagine saying the worst things and behaving like a dangerous monster. The swirl of thoughts overwhelms me, and stopping them feels impossible.
Many times, when I wake up feeling so enraged that I can’t see any color but red, I’ll choose to stay home. Too many times, I have struck out at people on those awful days. Some of the damage was irreparable.
On other days, I use my anger for strength. I pick a task I need to handle and let my inner fire inspire courage to tackle what needs to be done.
So it was that this week I fired one of my tax clients. After over two years of trying to help them improve their bookkeeping methods, I reached my breaking point. The person consistently showed no respect for my time or for me as a person.
After weeks of fruitless emails, phone calls, and several absolute (and missed) deadlines, it was clear the client would always cause unnecessary stress. So, I fired her.
I was polite, explaining my reasons, but firm in my decision. While other emails went unanswered for weeks, she called within 60 seconds of my sending the last email. By then, it was too late.
Once I draw a line in the sand, I refuse to budge. I’m a bit stubborn that way.
Sometimes you have to protect yourself from the damage of other people’s poor choices. One of my work colleagues loves to say, “Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.”
Isn’t that the truth?
Too often we let ourselves get sucked into other people’s messes. We feel obligated to help Humpty Dumpty put himself back together, even when he knew he never should have been on the wall in the first place.
The older I get, the less power I have to rescue everyone. There’s not enough energy to be the superhero I once pretended to be.
Now, I cut the drama out of my life. I tell those creating unnecessary stress that they need to go away. Age has taught me that their problem doesn’t have to be my problem.
Part of living with a mental illness is learning how to protect yourself. Providing safety often means reducing the anxiety-causing things in your life.
Often, the biggest stressors are people. When they continue to cause you pain, they have to go.
A piece of me is sorry the client is upset, but I’m not disappointed to see them go. There’s not enough money to justify all the stress they were causing me.
My job is to protect my mental health, even when others don’t understand my decisions. The same is true for you.
Some people are drama magnets, but those people are terrible for your mental health. When possible, you need to distance yourself from the chaos. We already have enough of a tornado spinning in our brains. Who can handle more?
If there’s something in your life causing you unnecessary worry, it may be time to get rid of it. Sometimes that means ending relationships, but that’s okay.
Taking care of yourself is always the most important thing. If you can’t remain stable, then life becomes meaningless.
So do what you must to protect yourself. Then pick up your toys and move on.
Many of you are still suffering from the effects of recent storms. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Until next time, keep fighting.
Scott Ninneman, Publication Editor
Last Week’s Content
Scott’s favorite this week
The full list
Best of Speaking Bipolar
- Top 10 on Speaking Bipolar (Updated Monthly)
- Boosted stories on Speaking Bipolar
New writers welcome. Share your mental illness journey, poetry, and mental health tips by writing for Speaking Bipolar on Medium. Click here to find out how.
