Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Talking To Myself
There’s a lot going on in my head. Most of the time.
I’m a very passionate person.
Whether I’m puzzled, annoyed, worried, angry or sad, I feel emotions deeply.
I feel them in my gut. So I need a way to untangle all my emotions. Especially when I don’t know why I’m feeling that way.
So, I sit down in front of a mirror, look myself into the eyes, and start talking.
Now, this may sound crazy, but let me explain how this has helped me.
1. Clarify my thoughts
How many times have I called my best friend to tell her I feel sad, but don’t know why ? How many times have I felt annoyed, or heavy-hearted, with no clue regarding the reason for that?
Countless times.
Seriously.
So, I have found that voicing out loud my thoughts, and making the effort of finding words to describe them has allowed me to flush it all out.
I got a few Aha! moments where talking things out helped me figure out what was the actual rationale behind unexplained feelings.
2. Understand the root of my emotions
Kris Gage often says that feeling something doesn’t necessarily mean it is valid.
I have found that to be true.
Many times in my life, I’ve felt entitled, jealous, sad, irrationally emotional. I would then act upon these feelings, simply because I felt them and assumed that to be enough of a reason.
But when I start describing out-loud what it is exactly that I’m feeling, and try to find the reasons behind it, I’ve come to realize some feelings are just side-effect of something temporary—fatigue, hunger—or a by-product of my Ego.
That they are in fact, not valid.
That some emotions and thoughts are fully my responsibility to deal with, not anyone else’s.
So, identifying them by uncovering the layers they are under allows me to be less reactive and simply more aware.
3. Motivate myself
I don’t only use this when I’m feeling blue. It’s also a great way to calm myself down when I’m feeling overwhelmed, or when I need to motivate myself to get things done.
Last week I had a pretty hectic week, and by the end of it, had a few homework hanging on my head, in addition to the need to prepare for project meetings. By Friday, I was cooked, ready to throw in the towel at 8PM and just go to bed, even if that meant not submitting a homework that was due that night.
But then I sat down in front of my mirror and started talking. I acknowledged out-loud what I was feeling.
Yes, you are tired.
Yes, you are overwhelmed because there are a lot of things you need to do, and that’s usually when you don’t feel like doing anything.
But it’s okay.
You don’t have to do everything tonight. If you can just get one thing done, that’s a success.
After 20 minutes, I had decided to get my bum to my desk and completed the homework in time. More importantly, I was feeling more at ease and realized the pressure came from the will to get everything—or nothing—done. Once I let that go, I was in a much better head-space.
4. Have a better connection with myself
It’s odd, but I’ve noticed that looking at myself directly in the eyes while talking to myself has led me to an enhanced sense of self-friendship. It’s like talking to another person—and thus, it gives me somewhat of an exterior outlook on the situation.
It helps me step back and change my perspective a little.
More so, it leads me to being more kind and self-compassionate.
Indeed, I consider myself to be a kind person. I would always encourage and support my family, friends and even strangers. Yet for some reason, when it came to me, I would eagerly describe myself as stupid, useless, ugly, and other joyful names.
Addressing myself as if I was talking to a friend doesn’t let me do that. I couldn’t look into my eyes and say all those horrible things.
Rather, I take a joyful, compassionate gaze, smile to myself and appreciate who I am with empathy and no judgement—just like I would with anybody I love.
Talking to myself is just another way I created to continue digging within my journey of self-awareness.
Do you ever talk to yourself ? Let me know if you give it a try! Who knows, this might lead you to dating yourself — if so, you might want to check out Rachel Drane’s 5 steps to do so!
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