Time Is Running Out to Collect all Ten Limited-Edition 2017 Primary Posters
*Satire Ahead!*
Businesses across the 43rd District of Brooklyn today are scrambling to complete their 2017 campaign primary poster collections. The 43rd district, which includes Bay Ridge, Dyker Heights, Bensonhurst, and Bath Beach, is currently part of a promotional augmented-reality simulation. The game, Primary GOTV (which loosely translates to “Get Out the Vote”) has resulted in a district-wide frenzy which has gotten locals (especially youth) out and about trying to spot their favorite candidates while battling rival teams for dominance at local campaign stops.
While the game has been primarily been fought on social media, brick-and-mortar businesses have been participating in the phenomenon by accumulating posters for each candidate, with many businesses prominently displaying their collections. While some storefronts depict multiple candidates who are diametrically opposed, the content of the posters isn’t important to many players.
Said local Nail Salon owner Dongmei Wing, “I know showing McCabe, who is a Hot Air type, and also showing Tong, who’s an Outspoken type, doesn’t make any sense. But it’s not favorites, it’s strategy and chance. You want to have the right type depending on the kind of customer who comes by. Maybe they come in and buy something, and we get more [experience points].”
“… it’s not [about] favorites, it’s strategy and chance.” — Dongmei Wing, store owner, on why she puts up certain posters
For some retailers, displaying the posters has become an obsession: “People kept coming here with these posters, I don’t know what it has to do with me, but I said yes, put them up, fine.” said Deli owner Selam Nadheer. “But now, I really want to finish my collection. I [am missing] only Lucretia, which has been very hard to get a hold of. I traded three of my Quagliones for a Chirico the other day, which was a great deal. [Chirico posters] normally only appear at law offices.”
Some other store owners are focusing on the collectibility of specific posters, which may be retired when the promotional event ends this Tuesday. For example, a store undergoing construction at 78th street and 3rd avenue has stocked up on no fewer than twenty signs for John Quaglione, along with at least three first-edition lawn signs. “I really put all my eggs in one basket here,” said the owner of the store. “If Quaglione ends up winning and making it to the general, these things are going to be worthless. Unlike some of the other candidates, Quaglione doesn’t have any possible evolutions. He’s an Establishment type, which makes him really weak against Populist attacks.”
While the event has been ongoing since January, the release of legendary ‘rare’ posters earlier this summer, which included Lucretia Regina-Potter and Vince Chirico, have made collecting all ten posters difficult but rewarding. Local voters say there is a rare Chirico “nest” located at 13th avenue and 77th street in Dyker Heights, where his posters spawn regularly. Lucretia Regina-Potter seems to be the rarest, while Handy Roofandshingle signs are undoubtedly the most common. One store-owner even managed to acquire two highly-coveted limited-edition tournament-sized Khader El-Yateem posters, which measure at least 9 feet wide.
For now, the stores that are leading the pack in terms of collecting all ten posters are nail salons, spas, discount stores, and delis. We caught up with a store clerk at “99 cents off” on 13th Avenue, who was in the process of putting up their eighth poster. We asked them what first got them into collecting the posters: “Fear of political reprisal. Plus, their names are so fun to say. Hehe, Capano. Hilarious. Where do they come up with this stuff?”
Primary Day is this Tuesday, September 12th! Find your polling place here.
Many campaigns are offering assistance for voters, including ballot information and transit options. Contact them for more info, and learn more about what’s involved!
