“Don’t chase the night”

I heard this catchy piece of advice a lot as a university student and young adult.

Maybe a better way to get at the truth behind this phrase could be: Don’t chase the outcome.

Turning on the lights

From an early age we understand how to jump. If not literally, then certainly figuratively. Following the rules, meeting expectations, fitting in; they’re all forms of figurative jumping.

Who am I?

If this question has frustrated you like it has me, this blog might be a place for you.

A fair warning first — I never ask “Who am I?” anymore. And my life is better for it. Let me tell you why…

I’m afraid.

There. Why was that so hard to say?

Fear is usually an easy thing for us to understand in others. When it comes to us, though, the story changes. When it comes to us, fear is no longer understandable. Instead, it’s unacceptable. Indefensible. Inexcusable. Fear is evidence of our…

Feigning Empathy

We’ve been faking empathy.

I know it stings. Keep reading though. There’s hope yet. Ready? Let’s begin.

First, we have to agree on what empathy actually is. Empathy, in part, is seeing the best of others through their words, their feelings, their…

Looking vs. Seeing

Looking simply means something is in our view. Looking is how we can say things like, “I’ve driven past them a thousand times, but I couldn’t tell you what they say.” Looking is easy, and cheap, and fleeting.

Cold

Thirty degrees (F) is a pretty cold day in shorts and a t-shirt, but quite warm in a parka built for sub-zero.

The temperature is just one of a nearly never-ending list of circumstances that are entirely out of our control. What isn’t outside our control is how we choose to interact with them.

Intent matters

It’s possible to do the same action with quite opposing intentions.

We can offer to help a friend in need with the expectation that they will now do the same for us in the future. We can also offer to help simply because we want to help them.

Useful AND Beautiful

Who ever said that something could only be useful or beautiful, but not both?

Apple, under Steve Jobs, went on a multi-decade vendetta against this very idea. The mere consideration of useful OR beautiful was nearly tyranny; or even worse to Jobs, conformity…