How I learned a “voice” through my girlfriend?
A few years ago I attended a fine German language focused gymnasium. During the senior year I worked a little too hard to get the grades at tip top level for the Uni. This was a thing that I never really cared about.
But going to school also meant chillin with friends and having fun. Not knowingly, through all of the socially awkward high school things, I also searched for a cool voice. I never thought about what kind of voice do I use in school, I didn't care.
A good voice comes with time. It becomes a skill that we can actually feel. We become more aware of what we say and how we say it.
But at that time my idea of discovering a voice was filtered through my own little world. I think only a few of my classmates could understand me, both in terms of my beliefs and my amazingly scruffy speech.
Of course a big influence at that time was my girl, what a surprise. It was a liquor of love that made me have a daily practice. I sat in the literature class by the window and thought about her for the whole hour. Maybe our teacher just enriched the romantic atmosphere with all of those love novels that we had to read. And of course I always put on some Coldplay tunes.
But this mad love not only captured my heart but also my voice. I remember that I started to use different words and even my attitude started to change. My room probably felt this the most as I used to play guitar and sung my own love song lyrics. At that moment it was the best way to express the thoughts and feelings that invaded my mind.
Because love is not an easy thing, it grew from merely a feeling to something greater. An actual decision to change. So I started to take notes on what worked and what wasn’t working in our relationship.
“When you hang out with a girl, it’s important to have fun. Girl’s mindset even in adult age, is still programmed in the playful story type thinking. She will always enjoy role playing and teasing situations.”
These kind of notes were all over my desktop, awesome.
At this point it is clear that voice is not just a sound or words. It's a mindset. Something that actually feels authentic. The voice is backed up by a deep belief. As Simon Sinek in his book “Start with Why” shared — “Authenticity is when you say and do the things you actually believe.”
The voice becomes an expression of our heart. Even if that voice is broken or disturbed by shame or fear it has the ability to change.
And it must be true that the voice we use today, is simply a miniature version of the voice that will define our life.
Lytham St Annes, United Kingdom
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