Lose “Likes” by sharing weak story. No. It's not the story that's weak.

People often share stories that they care about, but are they understood? Yup, I know this feeling. They don’t get the support for their views just because they can’t sell the message.

So today I had this amazing afternoon at the local park. Just stopped for few minutes to catch some sun and rest my eyes. Then suddenly this lady came up to me and gave me a booklet which was a sort of message about their religion. At the very first moment I wasn’t mad and I wanted to respect this lady. I liked her. Then she left and went on to search the next “target”.

The thing that happened next was even more surprising. This other lady who was sitting near to me started to comment about what just happened. I asked her — Do you believe in this? She said, no, no, I don’t care, I don’t want to know. My first thought was that she’s probably hurt by someone, otherwise she wouldn’t be so defensive and dismissive.

The only thing that I wanted to say to her was — I have one big problem with this. I don’t believe that it is the right way to communicate anything to someone, especially something as intimate as faith. In every aspect this kind of approach decreases the value of the whole message.

What really killed the value was the booklet and her sudden intervention to someone’s attention. When somebody gives you a booklet without your permission, two things happening. One, is you think “I don’t need this” and the second “Where is the trash can?”.

When I was 17 years old I remember doing a social activity going through a local town. We asked people for their opinions for a poll which lead to talk about their views about life.

What I learned is that people love to share their stories. It’s a chance to give their voice a worth. When you ask for their opinion, there is a hidden message — “I care about your voice”.

It was a different approach. At the heart, it started with a permission. Of course, there was a goal, but the way to the goal was designed so it would be a good experience either way.

Obviously there can be hidden agendas, but sometimes the goal is blunt and straightforward. Like when a confident guy starts to talk with a girl and say’s “I like you, on the spot”. No need to get to the friend zone. His frame for the message might be super simple. Let’s say a confident voice or funny voice, but it’s a frame that works for him and has a good impact.

A stunning message without a good frame is nothing. The frame is hard to understand. The message is the flexible part, but the frame is the one thing that has rules and they can be applied to a message.

To give a really contemporary example of something that is controversial, let’s say a heterosexual guy certainly can wear woman Victoria’s secret panties and a woman can wear mens Calvin Kleins boxers. As weird as this picture can look like, the message here is about frames.

Every word that this person with the opposite sexes clothes will say, will be heavily influenced by the frame itself. People won’t hear the message, they will see the frame and make their own interpretations of what he or she says. Of course it also depends on the people who are listening.

The message is lost in translation when the frame is wrong. When you pour milk into a plate, it won’t work.

This lady could have come up to me and said something nice and asked for my name. And then ask if I want to hear about her message. Even if I would say no, the whole experience would be pleasant. She needs to go home and think about what she did. She needs to think about how she frames her message.

And that’s my blog for today. Thanks.

“5 things that defines an honest person”

(Read by 426 people)

“How I learned a “voice” through my girlfriend?”

(Read by 127 people)

“The presence of scarcity is the essence…”

(Read by 164 people)