What Your Favorite Christmas Movies Are Really About
True meanings of 20 holiday classics you know and love
Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, chances are you’ve seen a Christmas-themed movie or two. Or thirty. Many of us begin watching these films at a young age, appreciating them for capturing the “true meaning of Christmas,” without knowing what that actually means. But the problem isn’t that we’re confused about the significance of Christmas. We are, but the real problem is that we’ve got the true meanings of these movies all wrong.
The films we fell in love with as kids reveal more layers every time we watch. So, I’ve compiled a list of some of the most popular and beloved Christmas movies to hopefully explain the hidden and not-so-hidden messages behind them. Keep reading only if you’re ready for your minds to be blown and your childhood fantasy worlds to be shattered.
WARNING: SOME SPOILERS AHEAD.
1. Elf
Memorable quote: “I’m sorry I ruined your lives and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR.”
What it’s really about: Disappointment. Your dad is never what you hoped he’d be the first time you meet him. And you’re not what he expected either.
2. A Christmas Story
Memorable quote: “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
What it’s really about: Not sure how many different ways we need to say this, but guns are bad, mmkay?
3. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Memorable quote: “I’m cute! I’m cuuuuuuute!”
What it’s really about: Rosacea.
4. Frosty the Snowman
Memorable quote: “And when I start to melt, I get all wishy-washy.”
What it’s really about: A snowman is a metaphor for that friend you see a lot during the holidays but then don’t see again for like 10 months because he has a cocaine problem.
5. The Year Without a Santa Claus
Memorable quote: “No, you don’t look like you’re up to something, but whenever you look like you’re not up to ANYTHING, you’re up to something.”
What it’s really about: Unemployment. Dude works one day a year and wants to call in sick? GTFO. There are plenty of more qualified people who would kill to be Santa. (See #9 on this list.)
6. Home Alone
Memorable quote: “…we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.”
What it’s really about: Abandonment.
7. Home Alone 2
Memorable quote: “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
What it’s really about: Periodic abandonment.
8. It’s a Wonderful Life
Memorable quote: “No man is a failure who has friends.”
What it’s really about: There’s some stuff about suicide in there, but I’ve never actually stayed awake for the whole movie. My mom usually just makes me watch it with her because she hates me.
9. The Santa Clause
Memorable quote: “I think that I’m going to go into the family business.”
What it’s really about: An in-depth murder cover-up. Nothing spells Christmas like some father-son quality crime!
10. Love Actually
Memorable quote: “If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.”
What it’s really about: Martin Freeman is good in everything.
11. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Memorable quote: “WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We’re at the threshold of hell.”
What it’s really about: When it comes to family, maybe being alone isn’t such a bad thing.
12. Miracle on 34th Street
Memorable quote: “Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.”
What it’s really about: There’s an obvious metaphor for Jesus here, but why use the commercialized version of the Lord’s birthday to prove that point? I find it ironic that the people who are gung-ho about the true meaning of Christmas always neglect to mention baby Jesus and all that other stuff. Doesn’t make sense.
This movie is about dementia.
13. The Polar Express
Memorable quote: “Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.”
What it’s really about: WTF? Are all these movies about the same thing?
14. Jingle All The Way
Memorable quote: “Who told you you could eat my cookies?”
What it’s really about: Some heroes don’t wear capes. (I’m not talking about Turbo Man; I’m talking about moms. Who do you think MADE those cookies? Moms are the real heroes.)
15. Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Memorable quote: “It’s because I’m green, isn’t it?”
What it’s really about: Everybody is a little bit racist. Even in Whoville.
16. I’ll Be Home for Christmas
Memorable quote: “I want a traditional Christmas, with snow, and stockings, and egg nog, and carolers.”
What it’s really about: Family, probably. I’m assuming most of you haven’t seen this movie and need to Google it. (JTT and Jessica Biel are in it, and that’s all that matters. Weird that a traditional Christmas for her now involves hanging with Justin Timberlake…)
17. Scrooged
Memorable quote: “For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be!”
What it’s really about: Dramatic irony. Man who busts ghosts suddenly finds himself in a situation where he’s haunted by… ghosts?
18. The Holiday
Memorable quote: “I can’t believe a girl like that would actually be with a guy like me.”
What it’s really about: Self-awareness. People pretty much get what they deserve. Jack Black, Kate Winslet — I’d say that’s about equal.
19. Harry Potter franchise
THESE ARE NOT FUCKING CHRISTMAS MOVIES.
20. Bad Santa
Memorable quote: “You ain’t gonna shit right for a week.”
What it’s really about: No hidden message here. This movie is exactly what its title suggests, and it’s phenomenal.
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You can find more of Ryan’s work in Human Parts, The Coffeelicious, Absurdist, Life Tips, and The Bigger Picture. You can follow him on Twitter here or check out his website here. He’d love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading!
