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The Dungeon Tribune
The Evil Dragon’s Most Trusted News Source — Satirical News From the World of D&D
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Giant Spider Will Eat 8 Sleeping People, On Average
Giant Spider Will Eat 8 Sleeping People, On Average
“We decided not to count the victims in the town whose water supply was tainted by chamomile.”
benny
Aug 13
Dungeon Master Bans Cellphones, Debuts One Man Show
Dungeon Master Bans Cellphones, Debuts One Man Show
“I think he’ll do a great job, and I’m looking forward to passively listening to what my character would do in various situations.”
benny
Aug 6
Despite Heroic Backstory, Character Remains Unknown
Despite Heroic Backstory, Character Remains Unknown
“His combat technique is very advanced. It appears simple and he only uses low level spells. To the untrained eye, it might look like he…
benny
Jul 30
Local Adventurers Kill Monsters, Suddenly Feel Stronger
Local Adventurers Kill Monsters, Suddenly Feel Stronger
“We just finished killing some Kobolds, and as soon as the last one died, I felt like I could survive an additional short sword attack.”
benny
Jul 23
Value of Gold Plummets After Short Excursion into Dungeon
Value of Gold Plummets After Short Excursion into Dungeon
“These copper coins are now worth 3 gold each.”
benny
Jul 16
Dungeon Monsters Ignore Obvious Signs of Fighting in Next Room
Dungeon Monsters Ignore Obvious Signs of Fighting in Next Room
“I don’t care how obvious it is that my fellow monsters are being killed, and that they’re probably coming for our room next, I’m staying…
benny
Jul 9
Evil Wizard Wonders if Dungeon Design is Fair to Adventurers
Evil Wizard Wonders if Dungeon Design is Fair to Adventurers
“Yeah, I could design one room that will kill everyone as soon as they enter, but is that the type of evil wizard I want to be?”
benny
Jul 2
New Stat Unveiled: ZIP Code at Birth
New Stat Unveiled: ZIP Code at Birth
Researchers have shown that zip code at birth has a large correlation with success, and now the game developers are looking to capture that…
benny
Jun 25
Descriptions of Combat Actions Limited to Haikus
Descriptions of Combat Actions Limited to Haikus
“I don’t have a problem with using the syllable structure, and I’m glad he’s not making us use a kireji, but it does get very difficult to…
benny
Jun 18
Op-Ed: This Game Was Better When it Wasn’t Fun
Op-Ed: This Game Was Better When it Wasn’t Fun
“There used to be a time when the only way you learned Dungeons and Dragons was by finding an old Player’s Handbook in the woods and a…
benny
Jun 11
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