Meanwhile, outside the Colosseum, part 2
ONE SENTENCE, JUST ONE LOUSY SENTENCE.
[Near a newsstand outside the Colosseum, Day 3]
(with apologies to multiple participants)
Somewhere in the unwashed masses loitering around the stadium walks a wannabe journalist accompanied by his film “crew” — a very smart Belgian Shepherd with an iPhone — looking to get reactions to the action taking place inside the arena.
The reporter approached a pretty young thing in hospital scrubs pushing a stroller and trying to edit posts on her smartphone. He said hello to her, then asked who she was and what she you thought about the huge battle going on behind her in the stadium.
Smiling for the camera, she asked if it was possible for the dog to film the interview. The dog nodded his head in agreement and began shooting. She said her name was A. McEnnis…
I’m afraid I’m totally out of the loop on all things, cool and who’s who. I have an idea Jon W. started medium? See? I’m terrible.
The reporter looked at the dog who gave him a paws up, thanked the woman and walked past a news stand called Edicola Brad Decker, looking for some more crowd reactions. He asked the bespectacled proprietor for a comment but was waved away as the frantic man tried to sell his wares to passersby.
“Sir! Madam! Can I interest you in some articles on Education? How about some fresh comics? I’ve got a recent short story by Thaddeus Howze around here somewhere…”
After losing yet another sale, the man sighed, knowing that this would be another day that the writers back home would go hungry for recommends, and began to close up the stand. The reporter returned and asked for a comment about the battle going on inside the Colosseum. Signore Decker turned toward the reporter and said…
Publications just aren’t good business anymore; if we wish to rise above obscurity, something drastic has to be done. The people want blood, and blood they shall have… “I’m sorry, Shawn White…”
He turned back toward his stand and opened a chest marked Emergencies Only. Inside rested a glittering crystal-blue blade on a bed of red velvet. Blood red velvet.
The reporter started talking notes, thinking he would get an exclusive scoop on a juicy crime about to be perpetrated.
Signore Decker reached down to grab the weapon when suddenly the camera dog sprang into action, clamping down viciously on the crazy man’s big spicy meatballs. Security guards ran to the source of the horrible howls that were now coming from the wrong side of the stadium. As they arrested Signore Decker, the reporter started to email his story:
News Hound Clamps Down on Crime
Rome, circa 80 A.D.
Black Dynamite, an off-duty police dog moonlighting as a TV news camera man went balls to the wall in preventing a crazed newspaper vendor from going on a well articulated killing spree outside the Colosseum at dusk. While the crowds roared for their favorite writers battling in the Grammar Games, officer Dynamite demonstrated the skills that have made him a department favorite.
According to K-9 specialists, Belgian Shepherds (or Mallinois in French) are incredibly intelligent dogs with above average dexterity. Although they are slightly smaller than their German counterparts, they are faster, more agile and have a special clamping ability with their jaws, similar to the rottweiler or pit bull. For this reason, they have been nicknamed “Malligators.”
When asked to assess the threat level posed by Signore Decker, the valiant police dog simply growled. In response to the question of how difficult the arrest was, Dynamite said “rough.” Finally, when asked to describe his sense of the arrest, the K-9 hero replied “kind of soft and chewy, with a scent of oregano and a strong garlic flavor.”
To be continued…
Previous • Next
Everything you never wanted to know about…
The Grammar Games, including rules and eligibility, all chapters, man on the street interviews, yelp reviews, side tales, praise from the book jacket, newspaper reports and, of course, our Kickstarter funding program.
As always, “Will write for donuts.”
