by Lauren Bans
“Oh, you’re Jessica Knoll,” she says to a young woman in a lace top who writes a great deal for the magazine. “Kate told me you’re a rock star,” she says of her predecessor, Kate White. “But Kate’s gone, so it doesn’t matter now.”
You can’t say “blow job” in the New York Times Magazine.
I scored “Fluent Female” on Cosmopolitan’s bottomless “50 Guy Phrases Translated” quiz. Seriously, don’t take it, it never…
“Mind-blowing orgasms quickly seemed as boring as corporate-speak about mergers and acquisitions. I certainly wasn’t learning anything about sex. All the advice seemed to be variations on earlier articles and ran together in my mind as I dissected the endless lists of…
by Liz Colville
“Holding his hands, extend your arms out to your sides and lift your torso like a snake ready to strike.” Presumably do not strike, unless you hate him.
“9. During the next full moon, take a long walk. Try not to talk too much; just hold hands under the moonlight.” Trust me: I don’t know the guy, but I know he doesn’t like it when you talk.
You Will Break Up This Winter, Unless —
After taking Your Guy for a snowball fight, come inside and “throw on one of his sweaters with nothing underneath. It’ll hide any problem areas —…