by Kristen Iskandrian and Tao Lin
oscicloosiclocsius — a penis whose length is twelve times the width
lance bass — a penis shaped like a human head
As many of you are doubtlessly aware, the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest seeks to honor the most intentionally turgid sentence of the year, in tribute to our hero’s greatest contribution to English letters: “It was a dark and stormy night…” The competition is…
“Aimonomia: n. fear that learning the name of something — a bird, a constellation, an attractive stranger — will somehow ruin it, transforming a lucky discovery into a conceptual husk pinned in a glass case, which leaves one less mystery to flutter around your…
“France was punished on Thursday for not taking proper care of its hamsters.” — Winner of the Best Sentence of the Day Award!
Can we all take a second from our busy days to bow our heads and pray that “YouTuberty” does not become an actual word?
LOHAS was crazy enough, but now Ben Schott is bringing us a new, more logical yet infinitely crueler acronym. Are you sure you’re ready for this? OK. It’s GHOSTS, and it stands for “Gray Haired Over Stressed Twenty Somethings.” It was coined by haircare company John…
