GCSE Physics 2017 Preview Paper

— Henry Dyer (10 Marks, Include Working)

How to Deal with ‘Mature’ Trick or Treaters

We all know Trick or Treating is for the kids. It’s American, it’s saccharine, it’s…

The First Instalment of ‘The Diary of a Mature Student’, by Emma Ayre

The Old Bird: Compelled to Write in the Hope of Reaching at Least 1 of the 256 Mature Students on Campus.

You are alone. Yes, don’t be fooled into thinking you will be lucky enough to…

New Sabb Team Take Office

YUSU’s new sabbatical team are now officially in office, so we reached out to some people for their reactions:

The Second Instalment of ‘The Diary of a Mature Student’, by Emma Ayre

The Old Bird: The Realisation that the University of York is Working Against the Aged.

On Wednesday I set off with first year student gusto from the library to the biology block for…

Queen Denies Existence of ‘Magna Carta’ Memo

Buckingham Palace has described the ‘Magna Carta’ memo leaked to and published in The Times as an ‘unsolicited document that has had nothing to do with the government at all’. Speaking from the top of one of a series of tanks rolling down the Mall led…

Hot Potato

A very hot potato indeed is being passed between ‘subsidiaries’ of two once important campus media outlets. Originally belonging to a limb…

Christmas Disaster: Reindeer to Strike

A fresh employment dispute has broken out between Father Christmas and the Union of…

Labour Leader Set To Host Daytime Reality Show

A source close to ITV’s executives, namely Arnold the head cleaner, has exclusively revealed to The Lemon Press plans to replace Kyle with Corbyn as he single-handedly saves the nation, one dysfunctional Northern family at a time.

Theresa May Names New Cabinet

The UK’s new Prime Minister, Theresa May, has been spending the evening announcing senior members of her…