United Australia Party

The United Australia Party's campaign technique seems to be annoying you into voting for them. Their ads are everywhere. Every time I see yellow I start openly weeping. When that fucking jingle plays my ears start to bleed. And whenever I see Clive Palmer's face as he rattles through 100 bullshit policies in 30 seconds, I want to throw my screen into the nearest abyss.

God I hope Palmer gets sued for copyright infringement

As for the ranking, if there's one person who personifies the dumpsterfire that is Australian politics it is Clive Palmer. And on that alone, the UAP is a heap of flaming trash.

Policy

Basically it’s what you would expect from an unstable billionaire who didn’t show up to parliament the vast majority of the time he was an elected representative.

And by that, I mean that there are 4 dot points and that is it. There is more detail in their fucking ads than there is in the section labelled “National Policy”. And any party that has spent more time on pointless, irritating advertisements over coming up with considered, detailed policy doesn’t deserve your vote in the slightest.

Vote for them if

You want to pay for Clive Palmer to nap.

Goodnight Clive. Clive, goodnight. Goodnight Clive. Clive, Clive, Clive, goodnight, night, night. Goodnight Clive. Clive, goodnight. Goodnight.

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