Bogan Bible — Matthew 5:43–48
The Book of Matthew (Q)
Love for Enemies
43 “And finally, let’s talk about those you don’t mind and those whose heads you would enjoy beating in on itself. Yes. I get it. Sometimes it would be great if you had a glass bottle just in case someone gave you the shits all of a sudden, but I’ve got a different solution. You reckon, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
44 But I reckon, because I’m the Messy and I’m right about everything, don’t be a prick to your enemies and offer a schooner for those who persecute you.
45 Me old man’s on board with it too. He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? Fucking tax collectors. Bloody hated those pricks.
47 But I’ve since learned that they’re just doing their jobs. You have to rationalise it. How else is society meant to run? How else are they meant to get on the piss? Beer access is sacrosanct. Praise the hops.
48 Sorry, went off on a tangent there. But you get my point.
Matt Querzoli is re-writing the Book of Matthew into the bogan Book of Matthew (Q). Today he has rewritten Love for Enemies. Follow his writing blog, hisletters to strangers blog or his blog blog if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.
