Man, Four Lines Of Coke Up Nostrils, Decides Now Is The Right Time To Discuss Tibetan Geopolitics


Investment banker and avocado indulger, Tomas Meyer, made the sudden decision to jump from a conversation regarding the next NBA series with work colleagues at Friday drinks, to the complicated topic of the current geopolitical state of Tibet, as a result of lacing his nasal passages with four lines of a recent batch of Colombian cocaine.

“Yeah, so what do you guys reckon about Tibet, hey?” he interrupted, wild-eyed, but trying to act casual, painfully aware of the six-foot-eight Samoan bouncer glancing warily his way. “Like, just about the vibe of the place? And the fact the Chinese are basically laying claim to their minerals and water, stripping the country dry for their own selfish means.”

He continued, after taking a sip of a drink that he definitely hadn’t ordered, and was in fact the drink of another patron the table over. “But then, if we are talking about China, we have to go back steady takeover of the Indian subcontinent by British colonialism. Which basically alerted to China the geopolitical importance of Tibet,” he said, using vaguely violent hand gestures to accentuate his growing point.

“Oh, sorry love, thought that was mine,” he said to the woman whose Vodka cranberry he’d just half polished off.

“Thoughts?” he asked the group, before giving them neither the chance or inclination to answer as he launched into the next sentence being conjured up by his railed mind.

“Of course, from a defensive point of view, Tibet literally forms a wall of mountains that could persuade any overland invasion if that were, some day to happen,” he said. He grabbed his colleague, Vincent Grant, into a headlock, and kissed him on the head. Mr Meyer quickly apologised for the outburst.

“Yeah, nah, sorry mate, but I just really want to know what you think about this stuff. Yeah. Nah,” he said, just before he sneezed and was escorted out by security.

Matt Querzoli’s Adventures in Blokedom is the satirical publishing arm of The Quintessential Q. Follow him or his randy publication if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.

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