“Your Relationship Matters”
Your relationship matters!
In the early 1990s, Mr. John was a teacher at a secondary school in Akure town, Ondo State, Nigeria. He had a degree in ‘education technology,’ which was at the time a new field. But all he could get was a teaching job, and teachers weren’t paid well then.
Being an ambitious man and one not willing to settle for less or let the situation determine his future. He furthered his studies in the field. Soon, he’d completed his master’s degree, after much struggle and efforts to sponsor himself and balance it with work.
As a master’s degree holder, he was still a secondary school teacher like before. Others knew about his added degree, and it baffled them that he was still in the school as a teacher.
Some fellow teachers thought he was unwise to have furthered his studies. “After all, he remained a teacher like us,” they said. It seemed like an unfruitful endeavor; he could’ve done something else with the time, money, and effort.
One Friday afternoon, Mr. John happened to overhear a close colleague, Mr. Leke voicing his opinion about Mr. John’s added degree in another classroom. “Shebi, we’re all still teachers in the same school,” he said, “So, what is the use of his master’s degree?” he added.
Those words hurt Mr. John and the fact that it was a close colleague that said it made it hurt more. Mr. Leke was unaware that Mr. John heard it. He simply said it in passing, not knowing the weight of his words.
Ideally, Mr. John Should’ve approached his colleague and express himself, if possible, clear the air by scolding him for what he said. That would’ve made Mr John feel better at least, and ensured such didn’t repeat itself.
However, he did the opposite. He kept calm and acted like he never heard a thing. Their relationship continued as usual, and he didn’t change his attitude towards Mr. Leke.
About two years later, Mr. Leke wasn’t a teacher in the school any longer. He furthered his studies up north in the Federal University of Technology, Yola, Adamawa State, Nigeria. He got to know about a new job opening for lecturers in education technology, Mr. John’s field.
Who do you think crossed his mind first? You guessed, right. It was Mr. John, his former colleague. He reached out to Mr. John; he collected Mr. John’s credentials, submitted them for him, and followed up the selection process until Mr. John was called for an interview, all in his absence.
That’s how Mr. John became a lecturer at that university. He moved his family to Adamawa state to resume as a lecturer. And presently, he’s a professor at the same university. Soon to be retired in some years’ time.
Can you imagine what would’ve happened if he got angry and gave his colleague a piece of his mind then? Well, their relationship might go sour. And he might be the last person to cross Mr. Leke’s mind when the job opening came through.
So believe me when I say, “Your Relationship Matters.” It is a crucial factor in determining your life’s journey. Having understood that ‘you matter’, you should also remember that your relationship is essential too.
How to make friends?
Ugochukwu, popularly known as ‘Madam Ugo’, was raised by a single mother in Nnewi town of Anambra State, Nigeria. Her father left home for a ‘peacekeeping’ mission in Liberia during their civil war and never returned. No one knew where he went to till date. “He just went missing,” they told her mother.
Madam Ugo’s mother tried her best to train her daughter with everything she had at her disposal. A very hard-working and sacrificial woman she was. She would teach Her daughter how to run a business effectively and still balance her life.
Her mother was only able to sponsor her until secondary school. Though young Ugochukwu was intelligent and had a thing for school, her mother couldn’t help it. She was critically ill, and Ugochukwu was to be given to a man in marriage. So that she’d at least continue her education.
However, Ugochukwu had other plans than to be married at the time. So she politely declined the proposal, and to everyone’s surprise, she told them she wasn’t interested. She started working as a salesgirl in a boutique thereafter; until she could save enough money.
Madam Ugo is a woman many people liked, and no one didn’t have a good thing to say about her. She moved to a small town in Jigawa State, Nigeria. Where she started her clothes selling business.
She wasn’t the only one who sold clothes then, and till now, there are still other clothes sellers in that town. But she had many customers, and people always wanted to patronize her store. Even natives of the town would instead buy from her.
Madam Ugo travels often, and she’s been to many places. She boldly says that she had at least two friends in each place she’s been to. Madam Ugo often told people that she doubts she could ever be stranded anywhere she went.
When Madam Ugo moved into the town, that was about 13 years ago. You’d expect that it would take long before she was balanced in business. But within only 19 months of her stay, she was doing great, and her competitors were shocked.
Whenever you see Madam Ugo, she always has a warm smile. Her cheerful countenance was contagious. No matter how downcast you were or how bad your day was, your day is brightened whenever you sight her, and you feel better.
Madam Ugo Would never argue with you or force her opinion on you. She had her way around conversations that’ll make you feel glad you spoke with her. She won’t question your view or beliefs, and she made her points clear without you feeling bad.
Customers loved her style of doing business. Not like she sold anything different from other people, but her unique approach to new and existing customers made them come back for more. She didn’t have difficulty convincing people to do anything; you’ll simply take action willingly.
Madam Ugo was genuinely interested in people she met. Once she sees you, and there’s a need to talk to you, it’d be like you’ve known each other awhile. And when a conversation with her ends, you’d feel like you met an old friend. She was that wonderful.
She doesn’t do promos or run adverts on the media, but her retail shop has grown so large, she has three other equally large shops at different places in the town. There aren’t any of her shops that don’t turn in hundreds of thousands in income weekly.
The points exactly?
Madam Ugo understands the basics of human relations and winning friends. She had traits that made it easy for her to make friends. These also were key to her business growth and expansion over the years.
Madam Ugo had an irresistible smile and cheerful aura anywhere she was. This attracted people and drew good people’s attention to her wherever she went. It made her seem like a person you’d readily like.
Madam Ugo would never argue with anyone, even if their opinion was different. If she was to correct a notion about something or someone, she wisely went around it. She made no one feel like what they said, felt, or thought was irrelevant.
Madam Ugo was genuinely interested in people she met. She didn’t fake it; she had the quality of having interest in people’s well-being around her genuinely. If you met her for the first time, you like her quickly.
You could too.
Making friends is not as difficult as it might seem. Understanding the basics of human relations, such as having a warm smile always, not arguing with people or forcing your opinion on them, and genuine interest in others would make you likable. It could boost your self-confidence because the energy is always reciprocated.
Always remember that your relationship matters. It is one of “the things that really matter,” and you’d forever be grateful for your great friends.
Whew!
It was another long one, I know, but you read it anyway. And I appreciate that you read till the end.
I believe you’ve learned a thing or two from these, just like I did too.
Please feel free to comment, tell me your human relation stories, suggest more winning friends’ tips, and make corrections, additions, or subtractions.
I’d appreciate them because you mean a lot to me, just as your relationship and all you have to say.
You can also share it with your friends and family if you find this piece helpful.
PS: If you’ve not read the Introduction to this publication or may be confused about it. Click here.
Thank you!
