The Toad: Founder Profiles

Here at The Toad we like to shower ourselves with praise. We thought we’d share the experience with you!

Nathaniel Brimmer-Beller

Academic interests: Film, cynicism

Student Council Releases Updated List of Acceptable Opinions

This past Monday, our Dear Leaders in student council released the updated list of opinions that are considered acceptable. We have compiled the list for you here:

• The word asian is offensive

LEAKED: Class of 2015’s Rejected Senior Prank Ideas

In The Toad’s first exclusive leak, we are able to show you the full list of ideas the senior class thought up to inflict upon the school this year. Thank God they went for tossing tin foil at people instead of anything funny. Here’s their…

A Swift Return

by Liam Goldsten

In her 7th album 1998, Tailor Swift renews her place as America’s sweetheart…

The Opinion: In Which I Complain About the Scandalously DJ’ed Dance

by Nathaniel Brimmer-Beller

Spring Fling Festivities This Year Just Bucket of Water Balloons, Pool Noodle

You Knew You Were The Class of 2015…

• If you can’t stop laughing at this:
• If you’ve seen Ben Gips’s right thigh
• If your face is on a milk carton
• If you’ve sacrificed a goat to Zulthor, God of All Things

Everyone in the School Except Me Wins A Scholastic Award

by Nathaniel Brimmer-Beller

In a BS year of Scholastic Art and Writing Award announcements, it appears that everyone in the effing school except me won something. The school erupted in applause Monday…

Whoop-De-Doo, Local Student Got Into Harvard

This Sunday, local student Jeremy or something received his acceptance from…

Student Accepted Into Maret Based Solely on Academic Ability

In a mockery of the education system, a student has been admitted into Maret School who has nothing to offer to the athletic department, diversity breakdown of the student body, or the school’s endowment. “It’s a new…