I Came In Like A Wrecking Ball!

A tale of a myopic transitioner.

In our ongoing quest to become the “authentic” version of ourselves, we can sometimes become so fixated on the goal of our own transition that our morality can sometimes take a backseat to our own self-actualization. In april I wrote a piece called ‘Collateral Damage’ which has become one of my most read articles. In that piece I detailed all the destruction we leave in our wake when we try to stave off our need to transition. It’s a poignant piece that everyone can learn from, including myself.

I wholeheartedly believe that we must transition as soon as possible to avoid harming those we love; recently I’ve become acutely aware of the damage I’ve left in the wake of my own transition. This damage has come to the forefront quite recently within the past month. The focal point being the Gender Reassignment Surgery I underwent on November 7th.

While this was the apex of my transition that I’d wanted since the late 80’s (when I discovered I could be surgically fixed), it was also the apex of a lie I told my wife on the day I came out. As I previously mentioned in ‘Moments like This’; when I came out to my wife “I felt that our marriage was contingent on my anatomy, and as hurtful as it was to tell her that I was never a man, I also told her I would keep my manhood if it meant keeping her.”

The reality of this lie has hit my wife particularly hard. She identifies as a straight woman, and even though we’ve been operating in public…