There’s an old French saying, “Tout comprendre c’est tout pardonner”, which means roughly “to understand all is to forgive all”.
via https://www.econlib.org/everyone-has-their-reasons/
These details not only matter, they matter too much to permit any generalized, abstract answer to do the trick and resolve, ahead of time, when rudeness will be judicious and righteous. The general, abstract question has no satisfying answer because the sorts of…
“[H]umans tend to live themselves into new ways of thinking more than think themselves into new ways of living.”
-Richard Rohr, Eager to Love: The Alternative Way of Francis of Assisi