nija vicAraNam: True seeking
jnana paddhati — the path of seeking the source of I-thought
We have come straight to the source of all thoughts as the I-thought in the last post. What is the source of this I-thought? is the next natural step in the process of journey to the source.
I-thought always identifies itself with this-thought. I am this. I do this. I want this. I do not want this. I like this. I hate this. I …. this. I am happy. I am sad. So on… Simultaniously I and this comes up. Without this there seems to be no I. I am “….” (some name, some profession, some achievement, some degree, some qualification, some emotion, some limitation, some “this” always!!)
True seeker on the straight path should seek the origin of “I …. this” phinominan. Eventhough the “I” in all the situations is unchanging and making all “this” evident just like light illuminates everything, I-thought seems to transform and assume the form of “this” just like the water takes the shape of the container.
Where is this originated? How is this originated? Whence the I-thought rises? Continuously, uncesently collect and gather by searching and investigating for the source of this limitation making the I-thought.
This is not concentrating the mind on any gross or subtle object. This is not dhyana. This is not flowing the thought stream in a homogenious and non-breaking manner. (see sarala cintana post ) This is not meditation.
So, upadesa saram verse 19 says:
nEnidi puTTu nA sthAnamu vetaka nEnadi paDunu idi jnAna paddhatira
Same in Sanskrit
ahamayam kutO bhavati cinvataH ayi patatyaham nija vicAraNam
By honest lookout (rather looking in!) for the source of I-thought, (“this” — limitation) being not able to find its source, this falls on its own. It is the principle of jnana or vicAra mArga.
{ About 10 years back, I got on to this question of “Who Am I?” I have made some blog posts on blogger for two years of my quest for the answer. — http://prasadchitta.blogspot.in/2006/12/know-yourself.html }
Next Post: https://medium.com/upadesa-saram/i-myself-ever-fulfilled-existence-a1ced4ec7cd3
