I — Myself: Ever fulfilled Existence

nEnu — tAnu: when I disappear, truth reveals itself as myself

As we follow the teaching of the path of knowledge as instructed by a realized sage who has walked the path and reached the goal of annihilating the ego or I-thought, there is an anxiety/curiocity about the state after realization.

The aham has two letters ‘a’ and ‘ha’ and the bindu to close. In Sanskrit and Telugu and most of the Indian languages the leter ‘a’ is the first of the alphabet (varNamAla) and letter ‘ha’ is the last one. So, aham or ego encompasses all the sounds of the language; there by it is everything. If the aham is lost, then there is a danger of losing everything. What if we end up in nothing, completely lost?

The vicAra mArga instructs to find the source of this everything. We moved from gross to subtle layer of mind, reached the source of mind as thought and further reached the source of all thoughts as the I-thougut and moved on to find the source of I-thought where it falls on its own. The ‘nEnu’ i.e., aham or the ‘idea of I’ has fallen / disappeared. The limitation superimposed on the self is gone. The pure existence of true self “I-Myself” (contrast with I-am-this idea ) shines forth its true form of ever fulfilled existence.

Verse 20 of upadesa saram in Telugu beautifully states:

nEnu aDangina cOTa “nEnu-nEnu” anucu tAnugA tOcunu tAnu pUrnambu

Same verse in Sanskrit:

ahaminASabhAji aham-ahamtayA sphurati hRt svyaM parama pUrNa sat

When the nEnu merges, in that place (called hRdayam or heart) dawns the pUrNam i.e, the whole filled existence as “I-Myself” — the true self.

No anxiety needed as there is nothing to lose. When the limitation is removed, ever existing truth shines forth just like the Sun shines after clouds covering it are shattered! There is nothing new created or attained; Sun always shines. The true existence is realized, removing the darkness caused by the confusion of words and ideas of the clouds. Bhagavan RamaNa refers to that realized self as tAnu or I-Myself or THAT-itself.

Where nEnu disappears, there tAnu shines itself! That is the mantra!!

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