What the Moment Misses

The Story of a Band

Once I had a grand vision: The Musicians and The Madmen. It would be an ultra-competent bass-guitar-keys-drums quartet…

Nuclear Family Blast

About a year ago, I drove to visit my brother, Ben, at the group home he’d recently moved into. It was about an hour to the Finger Lakes town, a significant improvement on the two-and-a-half hours I’d needed to drive to see him at the State Hospital in Binghamton. It was a beautiful day. I…

Who’s Your Daddy?

Everybody has a favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger quote. In “Kindergarten Cop,” the Governator is a cop masquerading as a teacher in order to find a drug dealer. He plays a little game with the kids, saying, in trademark cadence, “You tell me: who is your daddy and what does he do?” I just watched the clip…

Polaroid

Let go of the little distractions
Hold close to the ones that you love
’Cause we won’t all be here this time next year
So while you can, take a picture of us
— Frank Turner, “Polaroid Picture”

Dear Forms You Often Miss

“Don’t you miss it! Don’t you miss it! Some of you people just about missed it.”
— David Byrne

I walk in Mt. Hope Cemetery only on Sundays now. When we first got Violet, our Bernese Mountain Dog, I went every day, religiously. My…

Queen of My Jungle

You gotta love commitment.

Years ago, my band opened for an act called Tulip Sweet and Her Trail of Tears. Stan the Man got us the gig, and of course he knew a guy in the band (because he always does). The guy he knew played bass and saw (do you call him a “sawyer?”)…

Bizz-Buzz-Bang-Whack-Crash-Gesund

49 has always been my bète noir numérique. Why? Why, oh, why…

I was a mathlete in high school, and a pretty good one. I thought, perhaps, that I was A Great Mathlete. I went to the State Mathletes Meet a few times, and on all three occasions, I got my ass handed to…

My Name is Hector Bullshit Cullivera

His name is actually James Edward Andrew Hanover, and if you think that’s a mouthful, know that he very narrowly escaped “Clinton Dewitt Hanover IV.” I met him at least once before the friendship took. I was in elementary school, hanging with Charlie Martin, who…

Village Atheist

For years, I’ve said that my father told my brother and me, “Sons, don’t be a Village Atheist.” I don’t know that he said this when we were actually children. Perhaps he should have.

I was a Village Atheist, and it went way, way back. Family lore tells of a trip to visit…