New Mental Well-Being Survey Reveals 6 in 7 Dwarfs Aren’t Happy

Yes, I have internet friends. No, they’re not paedophiles.

It’s 2016, I’m 21 years old, and for some unknown reason I still feel the need to lie to people about where I’ve met some of my friends. No, they’re not criminals or drug dealers, people smugglers or sex offenders.