Real letters from fake characters.
Dear Girl Scout Troop 413,
You’re pathetic. Do I have your attention now girls?
Dear seekers of the truth,
Welcome to Ruth’s Truth, the most accurate, weekly news blog in the world.
I’m sick and tired of being described as “what would have happened if Sarah Palin had a baby with Keith Richards and Chris…
Dear Grubber House Management Company,
This is my third letter to you regarding the unbearable heat in my studio apartment.
Dear turkey lovers,
Look here America, I am not interested in being the centerpiece of your meal on Thanksgiving.
At Econo-Tube Air, we understand how important it is to fly through the sky to get from point A to point B and how…
Dear friends and family,
I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been distant, rude, and pessimistic lately.
I don’t understand why you keep on taking my “The Economist” magazine subscription from the lobby even after all my very…
Dear People of the United States,
Many of you are confused by the government shutdown.
Dear Fashion Sluts,
As editor-in-chief and founder of Judge magazine, one of my favorite times of the year is the fall.
Dear fellow medical practitioners,
Welcome to the RBPANC (Restless Body Parts Association National Convention) sponsored by PharmaCo, the…
Dear marriage equality supporters,
When I was a child marriage was defined as a union between a man and woman of the same race who were…
Dear New York City Voters,
Hello, my name is Duke Hazzard and I am humbly announcing my candidacy for New York City mayor.
AUTO: Leslie Solstice is out of the office (returning 8/21/2013)
Dear New York City Tourists,
Welcome to Times Square; the heartbeat of New York City.
Dear Chase Bank,
Citibike is rolling through New York as the go-to mode of transportation for commuters and cruisers alike.
Dear Dr. Reubenpepper,
You recently denied me perscripitions for my pains.
Dear Food Network,
My name is Jeraldine Malroy and I am your next Food Network Star!
Welcome to issue #2 of the most patriotic newsletter in America, Trigger Happy.
Dear Calhoun Industries,
My name is Barry Black and I’m the former Human Resources Director at Deblango Corp.
New to market-$3,000,000
Dear apartment dweller,
First of all, I don’t know how I got in here either.
Dear movie investors,
Your next blockbuster independent movie (“indie film”) is here!
Yours Truly has no stories yet