Magic by the dozen.
On Day 1 of our World Doula Week campaign, you heard from our visionary Founder Mei Lai Swan about how she came up with the idea for Birth for HumanKIND. So we thought the perfect way to round out our $12K in 12 days campaign was to dedicate Day 12 to our Co-Founder, Kirstan Flannery.
Kirstan is a woman of many talents and wearer of many (very stylish) hats. A graphic designer by trade, with a Fine Arts degree majoring in sculpture, a holistic counsellor, philanthropist and social changemaker, this woman does it all. She is a fiercely heart-led warrior woman whose passion for supporting women and their families bring new life into this world is obvious from the moment you meet her.
It is therefore little coincidence that when these two remarkable women, Mei Lai and Kirstan, met back in 2012 — magic happened.
From the very beginning Kirstan backed Birth for HumanKIND’s vision for a world where every woman has the care and support she needs to have the best birth and early parenting experience possible. Together she and Mei Lai worked tirelessly to develop the foundations of our organisation and generate passion for our work in the community.
A certified doula herself, Kirstan has been heavily involved in shaping Birth for HumanKIND’s doula support program for expectant mothers experiencing financial hardship and social disadvantage and supporting women as their doula. She also chairs the board of directors and, on top of that, she developed and co-facilitates the young mums education program, Mothering 101, alongside Carly Lord (our first young mum!).
Kirstan has been one of our most active volunteer doulas since the program began in early 2014, having supported — serendipitously — 12 women! We sat down with her to learn more about how she came to do this work and why she’s so passionate about putting the kindness back into birth culture.
Q: So, Kirstan, why did you become a doula?
“I believe everyone should be well supported through big life-altering experiences and I’d become increasingly concerned about trends in birth culture. Although women have supported other women during labour for centuries, continuous support during labour in recent times has become the exception rather than the norm. In contemporary Australian birth culture, we are continuing to see a rise in medical interventions, scarce availability of continuity of care models, decreases in health equity, and many women are sharing with us their distressing birth experiences. I wanted to be part of a movement of people committed to turning that around.”
Q: What is it about Birth for HumanKIND that makes you think big change in birth culture is possible?
“Our free one-to-one doula support service and young mums education programs are proving ever more timely, valuable and in demand. For us as doulas it’s about the woman’s labour and birth experience, not necessarily the outcome. What I mean by that is — supporting a woman to come out of the experience psychologically and emotionally in tact means she’s emotionally and physically available to parent well — which means that the maternal and infant health outcomes we hope for become more of a reality. I believe supporting parents and babies to birth in gentle, loving and safe ways evolves humanity in a positive direction.”
Q: What’s your favourite part of being a doula?
“Watching the full power of a woman’s body while she roars her labour song. That, and I see it as my sacred work (and joy!) to be an ally to women and their partners navigating their journey through parenthood.”
Q: So you have now supported 12 women and their families as a volunteer doula through our doula support program. Can you give us an insight into the kinds of challenges these women are facing in their lives?
“Absolutely. Every woman’s situation is unique and there’s definitely no one-size-fits-all approach to providing support as a doula. The women I’ve supported have birthed at five or six different hospitals and there’s been 13 babies, because one woman had twins!
I have supported women who are living in community housing or refuges because they have an intervention order out on a violent partner or they are experiencing homelessness, one woman for a decade. About half of them have been under 25 and some were really struggling with issues related to mental health and feeling stereotyped and judged by hospital staff.
I’ve definitely seen a lot of past pain and trauma come up for women during their births — almost as if they were screaming out the torture of their past. I’ve offered support through tocophobia, a very visceral fear or phobia of childbirth, which affects up to 10% of women.
I’ve supported a few women who have really fractured relationships with their own mothers, for various reasons. For a couple of them, having their mothers present at the birth of their baby really helped to heal that broken bond. For others it just really solidified in their mind the kind of mother they want to be to their baby.
One woman, who I’ve become particularly close to since she had her baby, had absolutely no support whatsoever. I knew that if I wasn’t there, no one would have been there. I essentially became family to her. What we shared was so intimate that I couldn’t not bond with her and her baby — I even held her baby before she did because she was just so exhausted and traumatised after labour and wasn’t ready yet.”
Q: Wow — no doubt all of the women and families you have supported stick in your mind — but is there one birth in particular that was memorable for all the right reasons?
“That is hard because they’re all memorable in their own way but if I had to choose — there was one family who captured the essence of what our work is all about.
This woman and her husband were having their fourth child, but their first in Australia. They were both excited for the happiness the child would bring to their family, particularly after much difficulty and trauma in their plight to seek asylum here. Making their way to Australia by boat from Afghanistan, their third baby drowned. I can’t even comprehend that kind of loss and grief.
At times in her labour I could see that she was completely terrified but I knew she trusted me and we just retained eye contact the whole time. At one point she looked at me and her eyes said ‘don’t you dare look away from me for even a second’ — so I didn’t.
Being with women in difficult psychological terrains is where the role of the doula comes to the fore. I believe she recovered so well because she didn’t feel terrified or alone in that moment — that is the essence of what our work is about.
It was special too, because for the first time, her husband was able to be there to support her while she was in labour because it’s not culturally appropriate where they’re originally from. The only catch was that she had to give birth during school hours, otherwise he would need to look after the other children at home! She went into labour at 8:30am and, on their way to hospital, they dropped their other two children at school. By 2:00pm their healthy baby was born and there was enough time for them to share a moment together before he had to collect the other children from school. He then took them to the hospital to meet their newest sibling!”
Q: Having supported so many women and their families through really challenging circumstances, what would you say is your hope for birthing mothers worldwide?
“That they receive the attuned care, respect and compassion they deserve as they do the age-old work of ensuring the generations can continue to come forth.”
How did it make you feel having Kirstan there, Elene*?
“Safe. Because I was thinking ‘nothing wrong will happen because she’s there’. In my labour I just call for her, even before my midwife, because I know what she would tell me. She knows everything about me. I learnt everything through Kirstan about the labour.”
Read Elene* and Aman’s full story with Kirstan as their doula here.
Q: What kind of response do you receive when you tell people about our work at Birth for HumanKIND?
“I have found time and again that people are genuinely moved by the important services that Birth for HumanKIND provides. We really want people to try and imagine giving birth in a place where you know no one, don’t understand the language or health care system, are struggling to overcome past physical and emotional traumas and trying to deal with current life stresses such as housing, isolation or domestic violence. Because this is the reality for many of our clients. And this is why we do what we do.”
Q: Lastly, if you could tell people one thing about Birth for HumanKIND what would it be?
“That I am proud to be part of this work and I have seen first-hand the incredible difference it makes. We urgently need ongoing funding to reach more women and families in need. The best way for you to secure the future of our work and make a lasting difference is by becoming a regular donor. I really hope to see the community getting behind our work and our campaign to raise $12,000 in 12 days for World Doula Week!”
This is the final instalment in a 12-part series to celebrate World Doula Week. Donate here to Birth for HumanKIND’s fundraising campaign and put the kindness back into birth culture. If you missed any of them, catch up by clicking on the images below! And to make a last minute donation to our campaign visit: https://www.mycause.com.au/page/147133/world-doula-week-2017
For more information on the services we provide, who we support and how you can get involved, please visit: www.birthforhumankind.org
