My Wife and I Had a Homemade Hardcore Porn Channel. It Was Fun But Here’s Why We Won’t Go Back.
Creating XXX content can take on a life if its own and lead to unhealthy sex acts never previously imaginable.
The video, shot in 2004 with a Sony Camcorder, is a little grainy and has a purplish hue but the details aren’t obscured enough to miss even an iota of what’s happening.
Based on a tripod next to our king-sized bed, the camera is carefully angled on a beautiful, blonde 30-year-old woman giving a man a blowjob as he straddles her chest. Her eyes are open and she’s looking confidently — a bit dutifully — at him while orally pleasuring him.
Suddenly the cock releases from her mouth and she pumps the shaft with her hand as semen quickly slathers her face and spurts onto her outstretched tongue and into her mouth.
The woman, delighted, continues pumping the shaft.
Then, to her surprise, a final, unexpected gush of sperm shoots up her left check and into her eye. She closes it just in time.
Unfazed by the eye shot — in fact, she giggles cutely when it happens — she swallows the load on her tongue and in her mouth and rubs the warm cream all over her face while licking her lips.
“Mmmmm, yeah, daddy,” she says softly — aware the camera is on her — before taking the dick back into her mouth and allowing her man to deep-throat her, to her delight, while he softens.
The video ends.
That’s a fun scene from a sex tape Lauren and I shot in our bedroom four years after getting married. We’d only recently started shooting our own sex tapes with our Sony Camcorder, at the time a high-end device.
Despite the purplish hue and the lack of high definition, it remains a stunning video and could still compete with any highly-clicked facial cumshot on any porn website. What most stands out:
- How beautiful the woman (Lauren) is — she’s stunning.
- The camera’s angle and the lighting perfectly document the impressive volume of semen, the explosiveness of the ejaculation and the glistening, creamy mess left on the face of a gorgeous woman.
- Her sheer delight with the unexpected eyeshot.
- Her eagerness to rub the load all over her face and swallow what’s in her mouth.
- Her submissiveness in calling me “daddy.”
Nineteen years after we shot that video, amid the hundreds of sex tapes we’ve created since, this 2004 classic remains a treasure. It captures the “perfect” facial cumshot, and for a few years it received many views and high ratings on a popular porn site, despite Lauren’s eyes having a clumsily placed black bar over them to protect her identity (meaning the viewer can’t see the unexpected eyeshot). Uploading it to the porn site was a mutual decision, and in the following years we created and posted additional content — much of which we’ve since successfully taken down.
Those days are now behind us and for good reason. Why? Here, I’ll answer that question. I hope what I share is helpful to other couples interested in posting their own hardcore content.
First, I want to be clear: Lauren and I think there is nothing wrong with couples shooting sex tapes. We continue to shoot sex tapes, and we have even hired professionals at times. Shooting sex tapes with your lover is a lot of fun.
We also understand the allure of couples posting hardcore sex tapes to fans sites so long as it’s all consensual and has guardrails (our content didn’t have guardrails — a big mistake I’ll go into below).
Where creating hardcore content becomes a problem, we think, is when the excitement of sharing the content leads to more and more extreme sex acts and fetishy deeds to appeal to “fans” and grow subscribership. That’s what happened to us.
This topic is on Lauren’s and my minds because, recently, two couples we know very well from our lifestyle (meaning we all hook up now and then for swapping and group sex) shared with us that they started their own fans-only sites, where they’re posting hardcore sex tapes.
We have visited both of their sites and the content is hot, extremely graphic and fun. It also concerns us.
From almost completely submerging ourselves in the adults-only fans site and porn site waters, including an experiment in the early days of COVID (when lots of couples were shooting homemade sex tapes), Lauren and I found it initially fun and exciting but over time increasingly unsustainable and unhealthy.
It was unsustainable because, from a practical standpoint, camera and sound set-up and testing, editing (making sure our faces never appeared was a huge part of editing), uploading, etc. all took a lot of time that we simply didn’t have as we both work full-time and are parents. We couldn’t leave the camera and sound equipment up in our bedroom or else our son may have put two and two together…..
It got increasingly unhealthy because we found from the experience of posting hardcore content nearly daily that our sex life went from being in service to each other and the love we share (all healthy) to making our sex life in service to others (not healthy). Plus, it led to our sex life becoming overly fetishized in the name of boosting engagement and subscribers.
Don’t get me wrong: It was thrilling to shoot and post our content and watch the feedback come in.
Yet something about our foray into that world didn’t feel right to us. As Lauren herself has observed, we had become digital sex workers by virtue of the fact that our sexually explicit content led to subscriptions and subscriptions led to money in our pockets.
The more graphic and fetishized the content, the more subscriptions we got. The more objectified and sexualized Lauren was in the tapes, the more subscriptions we got (from men and women).
In one tape, which drove a lot of new subscriptions, we consensually (with no one else involved) engaged in extremely hardcore BDSM acts, which Lauren at the time told me she secretly fantasized about. We do enjoy some BDSM and extreme kink (handcuffs, ball gag, whips, spanking, throat-fucking, anal plugs, urethral sounds) but what we engaged in on that particular tape was well beyond where we’d gone to that point in our marriage — and we’ve never since ventured back. It made even this and this look tame. To the viewer who didn’t know better, it might have looked non-consensual (it was 100% consensual). “One’s fantasies can be complicated,” Lauren explained to me after we shot the video.
It didn’t end there.
The fetishy shit got so out of control that, in a tape we shot on a whim, I ejaculated into Lauren’s morning coffee and she drank it (which she did think was gross but we wanted to keep our viewers entertained and “engaged”). The next day, she had me ejaculate on her bagel and she ate it instead of putting cream cheese on it (to be clear, she took a few bites and that was it — this was a stunt). Then there was a shot glass of cum she drank and licked clean. We even engaged in some “taste game” videos. What we’d do to entertain our subscribers, even if we found it kind of gross…..
We also posted a video of her prostate-massaging me. Yet another video featured a close-up of her anal creampie (from a hard anal fucking) and my feeding it to her. We shot a video of a speculum in her vagina (which, admittedly, was kind of visually amazing). Lots of squirting videos and a golden shower, too.
In another video, I fucked her ass with a well-lubed 10" dildo, which is a huge thing to be in the rectum — and then proceeded to anally pound her with my cock.
In a few risky videos, we fucked in changing rooms at clothing stores and once in a restaurant bathroom. Lots of outdoor sex, too.
No matter how far we took things, it all led to more subscriptions and more money rolling in. As I mentioned, we enjoy extreme kink but were finding that our boundaries were becoming blurred as we got more and more engagement.
When we realized this all made us essentially digital sex workers — and Lauren and me porn actors — we ultimately donated what we earned to help cleanse our consciouses and we deactivated (but didn’t delete) our site.
These days, it seems like a lot of young couples are producing sexually explicit content on fans sites. I’m not above admitting that, if Lauren and I were a hot, young couple today, we would probably also be prolific producers of such content. Which is to say our reservations about it now could be because we’re simply a little older and perhaps wiser, and we saw the potential ruin going into extremely hardcore porn as a couple can bring.
We treasure our non-traditional sex life together as a couple and with others (we’re polyamorists and swingers) but it’s always been about us — not to serve others. I worry that many couples posting their hardcore sex tapes to fans sites are relinquishing what they share together to faceless people looking at them on their screens while they jack or jill off. They keep ratcheting up the extremeness of their content to get more followers, more subscriptions, more money rolling in. That’s what we did, culminating in a consensual BDSM video — from uncomfortable non-consensual fantasies Lauren never imagined she’d share, much less act on — that to this day makes us uneasy to even think about, especially me as a survivor….
A lot of couples create their own sex tapes, and Lauren and I aren’t unique in that regard. We have nearly 20 years of sex tapes, including the one I’ve described in the opener of this post, and we enjoy watching many of them (what to do with them after we’re gone is another question altogether). It’s fun to watch us as a younger couples and we have some tapes from when Lauren was pregnant that bring back memories. We enjoy creating and watching those kinds of sex tapes and not the fetishy, wild shit we were posting to our fans site.
It got to be too much.
I welcome reader feedback!
