This is your brain on (OTC) drugs. — 11 of 31
Or “Vintage Bliss goes literal: Makes me dream of the 90s, friends, and authoritarianism”
I’m a patron of Ninja Writers and this is day eleven of the May Medium Post-a-Day Challenge of blogging for 30 consecutive days.
I chose Eleven as my article cover photo because it’s day eleven for the challenge and this article is about some “stranger things.”
GET IT GUYS.
…
Told you my puns are groan-worthy, sometimes. #DadJokes
Kids, this is Vintage Bliss by Old School Labs. Labs, kids (if you have an Amazon link, let me know).
This isn’t an endorsement, so to speak, but some funny things have been happening since I gave this product a go on a few occasions.
Namely, my dreams have been really bizarre.
Now, I’m the kind of guy that tries to do everything within his power to solve a problem before I seek outside help. I’m stubborn that way.
I’ve had trouble sleeping for a long time.
For years, I watched TV in order to fall asleep. When I tried to “just sleep”, I would lay there for hours until I gave up, got up, played video games or something. Super frustrating.
But, the TV watching also resulted in the spoiling of House of Cards, Game of Thrones (sort of), and Ken Burns’ The War by waking up at a later episode. I still haven’t come up with a clever term for that and it’s annoying the absolute hell out of me.
Seriously, I’ve been thinking about one for years AND NOTHING.
I also drank a whole lot on occasion and well, I wouldn’t advise that as a long-term…or really, a short-term solution.
In the past year, I decided 10,000 steps a day would be a good starting point (tracked by my FitBit) to try and “get the energy out” to help me sleep. I’m a high-energy guy. So, if I have all this energy before bed…I need to get it out.
I started going for walks, running, high-intensity exercise. On rest days for weightlifting, I walk a 4.5 mile loop near my house.
I also started wearing blue light blocking glasses because these lights, transmitted by many of the devices we use on a daily basis, have a negative effect on the brain and disrupt sleep.
But, even with all of my effort, I still have some restless nights.
For all you nerds reading this, here are the ingredients to the sleep aid. I went with this brand because 1.) I love their social media team’s engagement (I’ll talk more about that tomorrow) and 2.) This has, at least from my novice understanding, only natural ingredients.
The recommended dose is four capsules, but the bottle does advise starting with a smaller dose (2 or 3) to see how that feels.
Enter Sandbox
Dreams are supposed to have meaning, right?
I took a Roman History course when I was at the University of North Carolina. I remember Professor Talbert telling us that Emperor Augustus in Rome believed so strongly in dreams, he made it law that any citizen who had one was required to talk about it in the forum.
Well, my dreams have been making no fucking sense. At all.
They’ve felt more like “extreme sandbox mode.” In competitive gaming, sandbox mode is one where you have access to all aspects of the game in order to try different strategies.
Example. For American Football, sandbox mode would allow you to set up a game where it’s the 4th quarter, you have the ball at your own 20 yard line, down by 5, with 1:30 to go. You’re creating a potential scenario.
But, these haven’t even been potential scenarios. They’re just…weird.
Thursday, May 4th
NOTE: My commentary is in italics
My clan from Kali 95 for Mechwarrior 2 online is a real thing. I haven’t played that game in years. Training center in Arizona (the boring ass tutorial map). I used to sell ice cream before being conscripted. Salted caramel was my best seller. Spoiler: It’s not. It’s Mint Chocolate Chip.
I spent a year in Baja California…walking around? Being homeless? Aircraft lands on beach and up and away we go. Makes sense, I guess. I can’t access the main computer login at our base and I’m supposed to be on mission in St. Louis defending a caravan going to the opera. Most major cities in the U.S. are under control by the Arm (Weird, because in the PC game Total Annihilation, they were the good guys).
Large map showing areas they currently control. More walking around aimlessly in the terminal (at least I’m not homeless). I’m not supposed to keep an actual Wolf as a pet and high command is mad at me (LOL). Suddenly, in St. Louis. Caravan is guarding…some old guy with a sweet mustache. Being attacked and I can’t tell from where. I look up and around everywhere. Still can’t tell where it’s coming from. Ejecting. Floating in space. Mission failed…I guess?
Wednesday, May 10th
There was a season of Full House in 1996 where they were in Northern California (where exactly, uh…). The theme opener is different and I remember thinking how people hated that (Can’t mess with a classic!). The opening sequence is all first-person POV as the family (including me) drives to wherever the hell this place is. There’s an Easter egg in the sequence where there’s a Confederate flag behind the American flag on a gas station. And I say out loud, “Yeah, remember when Northern California fought for the Confederacy?” The Tanner family doesn’t find this weird at all, oddly.
Danny never says one word. He just looks at us occasionally. Like…what?
Oh yeah, the road ends at the end of the opening sequence and we have to submerge into a large body of water to get to this place. I guess our car is also a submarine. It feels like a roller coaster and I’m not the least bit puzzled by all of this. I’m actually mad at how long it’s taking to get there.
We enter this place through what looks like the bottom of Alcatraz ala “The Rock” (hey, 1996…at least some consistency there). Now, for whatever fucking reason, everything in my first person view looks like the Jaguar console (1993, but close). It’s a bland, ugly-ass green castle inside and every wall looks the same. Danny walks by, says nothing, just looking at me. Bob, you’re creeping me out dude.
I can’t find my friend Liana (from Northern CA) even though she wasn’t with us to begin with. I follow Michelle around, aimlessly (what’s with the wandering) until I end up behind an end zone watching the opposing team miss a long field goal against UNC. I walk out to the 50 yard line and it becomes night.
What the hell.
I’m not saying there aren’t time travel components in Vintage Bliss. But, based on these two experiences, I feel like they’re some sort of gateway to the 1990s ala Temple of Time in the Legend of Zelda. I mean, at the very least.
I can’t wait to hang out with the cast of Saved by the Bell enforcing a dictatorship through genetic programming in 1994!
