Emily Holi – Medium

Emily Holi

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Emily Holi
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Greener Pastures Magazine

Your Monthly Explanation of Benefits, Courtesy of Lady Whistledown

When it comes to life’s simple pleasures, there is nothing quite like the sweet-scented smell of success. By all accounts, you have not…

3 min readJun 13, 2024

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Your Monthly Explanation of Benefits, Courtesy of Lady Whistledown

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Emily Holi
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Slackjaw

In Lieu Of This Year’s Christmas Bonus, We’ve Decided To Make Ambiguous Donations To Obscure…

We knew you’d love the idea.

3 min readDec 23, 2023

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In Lieu Of This Year’s Christmas Bonus, We’ve Decided To Make Ambiguous Donations To Obscure…

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Emily Holi
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Frazzled

Every Suburban Mom in Every Starbucks at the End of Every Summer

Is This Some Sort of Cosmic F#$king Prank?

3 min readAug 21, 2023

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Every Suburban Mom in Every Starbucks at the End of Every Summer

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Emily Holi
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The Belladonna Comedy

Boutique Spa Services Marketed To Women Or Medieval Torture Techniques?

Beauty is pain.

2 min readJun 27, 2023

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Boutique Spa Services Marketed To Women Or Medieval Torture Techniques?

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Emily Holi
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Greener Pastures Magazine

Meet Bored, An Early Experiment by Google

After dozens of clinical trials, we’ve discovered that it’s much, much easier to just make you lazier.

3 min readMar 29, 2023

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Meet Bored, An Early Experiment by Google

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Emily Holi
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Frazzled

The 30-Day Whole Toddler Challenge

It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle

2 min readMar 12, 2024

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The image shows a wooden table with a salad in a blue bowl and various food items with red X marks over them, indicating they are not to be included or chosen. There are graphics of nuts, avocados, cookies, and butter packs. There are flowers on the table as well.

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Emily Holi
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Frazzled

In Honor of Spooky Season, Here’s A List of Chores I Will Not Be Doing During the Month of October

For the first time in my life, I’m on trend

2 min readOct 10, 2023

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In Honor of Spooky Season, Here’s A List of Chores I Will Not Be Doing During the Month of October

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Emily Holi
in
Frazzled

Fun Bumper Sticker Alternatives to “Baby On Board”

The baby in the car ahead of you is putting up big numbers!

2 min readSep 13, 2023

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Fun Bumper Sticker Alternatives to “Baby On Board”

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Emily Holi
in
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Ode to Hot Girl Summer

Did thou watchest my reels?

2 min readAug 23, 2023

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Ode to Hot Girl Summer

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Emily Holi

After Watching Three Season of ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL, I’m Now A Fully-Qualified Farm Vet

Being a farm vet isn’t always meaningful, but it is always easy.

3 min readMay 30, 2023

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After Watching Three Season of ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL, I’m Now A Fully-Qualified Farm Vet

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Emily Holi

Emily Holi

mama x 5 / author of silly x serious/ words in McSweeney’s / Points In Case / LOL Comedy / Frazzled / Slackjaw / Weekly Humorist / Greener Pastures

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