My Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs

Gender Binary System notes (part 5 of 7)

Orlando G. Bregman
5 min readJun 25, 2017

(Note: This article was originally published on Sept. 12 2016 as ‘Gender Binary System notes.’ It was written as a loose set of notes on the gender-binary as an exclusive system, and its’ limitations, rather than as a cohesive article or essay. I have broken the article up in 7 parts, with 7 different titles, for your reading convenience.)

Santa Monica, 1998

MY PRONOUNS: THEY/THEM/THEIRS

I have only since 2012 come out as gender nonconforming/trans-masculine, (yet at least partially aware of my gender identity since my childhood but not having any words for it then. I’ve been shopping for clothes in the boys/mens department exclusively since age 6.)

I have been openly lesbian since 1994, and was aware of this sexual orientation basically all my life, despite social disapproval.

(Gender non-binary, a term used often interchangeably with gender nonconforming, also doesn’t necessarily translate into neither man nor woman, as that could also be defined as a-gender, but is more of a combination between male/man and female/woman, just like bi-racial is strangely enough often dismissed as not belonging to any race at all, or not legitimately anyway, while it actually means belonging to two races simultaneously. If you think this comparison is strange, it actually applies, and I suffer from both misunderstandings, as I am both bi-racial and gender non-binary.

I personally prefer the term gender nonconforming to gender non-binary, even if the word nonconforming denotes a voluntary act, and being gender nonconforming is not a choice and in all likelihood has to do with one’s hormonal distribution, having more, or less, of either estrogen/progesterone or testosterone/androgen, in comparison to most cis-women and cis-men. I just like the term nonconforming, as I am very nonconforming to society’s standards in many other ways as well.)

I’m maintaining my birth name and pronoun by choice, even if I have no choice, and though I’m definitely not offended by the “male” version of my name, Gabriel, and the pronoun he.

I do go by “they” as well, to publicly acknowledge my gender nonconformity, but my only physical “transition” has been shaving my head, started in 2013 and never stopping since. And I have always worn male clothes and male hairstyles, whether long or short hair, (according Western society standards anyway,) and have never in my life gone through any distinctly female stage. Yet I’m not in any way super masculine neither.

I’ve been “mistaken” for a guy plenty all my life either way though, so got plenty of time to get used to it, and it never truly bothered me, only made me very awkward when not understanding gender identities outside they binary myself. I got called “brother” and “sir” on two separate occasions today alone.

And for the record, I identify as female, and gender nonconforming, despite my male gender. My pronouns are: They/Them/Theirs.

Los Angeles, 2016
Los Angeles, 2017
In Rotterdam, the Netherlands, Age 12 in 1985. With my best friend. (I’m the one with the knee patch.)

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Gender Binary System notes (2016) (Original Article in its’ Entirety)

The Root Cause Of Misogyny, And The Necessity Of Free Will (Gender Binary System notes, part 1 of 7) (2016)

The Male And Female Brain, And “The Cause” Of Transgenderism(Gender Binary System notes, part 2 of 7) (2016)

The Reasons I Am Not Transitioning (Gender Binary System notes, part 3 of 7) (2016)

How My Gender Nonconforming Identity Affected My Legal Immigration Status (Gender Binary System notes, part 4 of 7) (2016)

My Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs (Gender Binary System notes, part 5 of 7) (2016)

On Looking Androgynous Throughout My Youth, While Also Being Gender Nonconforming (Gender Binary System notes, part 6 of 7)

The Gender-Binary System Was Created For Population Control And Slavery, Including Sex Slavery (Gender Binary System notes, part 7 of 7)

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If you enjoyed this Article, please Recommend it by pushing the Clap Button at the bottom of the page, or share in your Social Media, or both.

My name is Gabriella Bregman, I am a Hollywood-based Writer, Filmmaker and Producer, currently in production of a Feature Documentary about LGBTQ US-Immigration Exclusion-Policy, including my personal story of US immigration discrimination during DOMA, (Defense Of Marriage Act, of 1996–2015,) titled ‘The Queer Case for Individual Rights,’ through my film production company Bregman Films.

The 2001 John Cassavetes Film Retrospective ‘Gena and John: A Cassavetes Retrospective’ at the Laemmle Theatres in Los Angeles is a Bregman Films Production.

I am also the Founder of a Nonprofit Film Organization Queer Female Filmmakers Los Angeles — A Media Site & LA Film Mixers (2018.)

In 2018 I am publishing my story and essays in a book, titled ‘The Queer Case for Individual Rights & Other Essays.’

I identify as a Gender Nonconforming Lesbian, “non-op” Trans-Masculine, and Bi-Racial, from the Netherlands, Los Angeles-based.

My pronouns are: they/them/theirs.

Please check out my other articles on LGBTQ- and Immigration Issues, the State of Women and LGBTQ People in Film, and Lesbian/Queer Film as well as Queer Female Sexuality and Gender Identity at medium.com/@gabriellabregman

A few titles:

Resume/FILM BIO: Gabriella Bregman (2018) (2018)

2018 Update on Documentary ‘The Queer Case for Individual Rights’ (2018)

A Note on the State of Women in Film (2016)

A Few Notes On LGBTQ Filmmaking (2017)

Some Thoughts on the State of Lesbian Filmmaking in the US (part 1 of 5) (2018)

John Cassavetes Film Retrospective (2001) (2018)

On ‘Moonlight’ and the Subject of Positive Representation (2017)

My 2018 Oscar Pick for Best Picture (2018)

In Defense of Rationality (2018)

In Defense of Individual Rights (2018)

Immigration Law Explained: The Irony of a Simultaneously Capped (temporary work visas) and Uncapped (family law marriage) Visa Immigration System (2014)

A Few Notes on US Immigration Exclusion Policies Towards Women- and LGBTQ Immigrants (2014)

The Root Cause Of Misogyny, And The Necessity Of Free Will (Gender Binary System notes, part 1 of 7) (2016)

The Male And Female Brain, And The “Cause” Of Transgenderism (Gender Binary System notes, part 2 of 7) (2016)

The Gender-Binary System Was Created For Population Control And Slavery, Including Sex Slavery (Gender Binary System notes, part 7 of 7)

All Articles Written by Gabriella Bregman (TM). All Pictures Owned by Gabriella Bregman (TM). All Rights Reserved (2018)

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Orlando G. Bregman

Essay Writer TRANS-MASCULINE IN HOLLYWOOD/Documentary Filmmaker F-1 DUTCH FILM STUDENT/Founder THE AUTEUR Film And Identity Publication & Film Org (2024) TM