NES Games No One Played: Letter N

I’ve got a pretty extensive NES collection and have for years been writing about the best games for the system while also trying to collect every title. As such, I feel like I’ve spent tons of time playing all the great games while the lesser known titles usually come in the mail and go straight onto the shelf. I wanted to make more of an effort to explore the entire library of the NES, not just the classics, and so I’m trying out some buddies I either popped in and immediately out or never played in the first place. Since I’ve got them organized alphabetically, let’s continue on with the Letter N.

• Letter A can be found here
• Letter B can be found here
• Letter C can be found here
• Letter D can be found here
• Letter E can be found here
• Letter F can be found here
• Letter G can be found here
• Letter H can be found here
• Letter I can be found here
• Letter J can be found here
• Letter K can be found here
• Letter L can be found here
• Letter M can be found here

NES OPEN TOURNAMENT GOLF | 1991

So as soon as I started looking at the Letter N, I knew I had a problem as far as examining obscure games. There’s 16 games total and half of those are well known (NARC, Nintendo World Cup, Nightmare on Elm Street, Ninja Gaiden I-III). Nightshade is a hidden gem, but I feel like it’s commonly known by now. As I said in my review of Bandit Kings of Ancient China, I’m skipping over the whole Koei strategy game library so that means Nobunaga’s Ambition 1 & 2 are out. So what’s left? You’ve got two terrible (but not in a funny way) ninja games (Ninja Kid and Ninja Crusaders) and some sports games. Well, as I’ve pretty much ignored the Sports genre up until now and there’s few other options, let’s just bite the bullet and go full jock mode! Let’s begin with NES Open tournament Golf.

Right off the bat you’ll notice that this game uses the official Nintendo characters, not just Mario and Luigi but Peach and Daisy as well! It’s apparently the second appearance of the lesser known princess after the Mario Bros game for Gameboy. Don’t get your hopes up though, this isn’t Mario Golf where you’ve got a Smash Bros lineup to choose from, your choices are just red man or green guy. However, you can play against some total generic dudes like Steve, Mark, Tony, and Billy. Perhaps they’re lost Mario brothers or cousins, or maybe they’re the posse in Mario and Luigi’s failed Entourage spinoff.

So how does Nes Open Tournament Golf compare to all the other 8-bit golf titles? Well, it’s got some nice cutscenes: Mario strutting out of the clubhouse, putting, and any time your ball meets a hazard. Beyond that, it’s…golf: you aim, you swing, there’s wind, clubs/wedges, terrain, etc. The original Golf introduced all the mechanics seen here and in every golf game since, so it’s pretty hard to favor it over the original or even Greg Norman’s Golf Power or Lee Trevino’s Fighting Golf (although obviously those guys tried their hardest to make their golf games sound way more badass). Even though the gameplay here is pretty much the same ol’ same ol’, overall this game is surprisingly deep. Because NOTG has a save function it keeps track of your stats, prize money, Hall of Fame holes (whatever that is), and more. There’s three modes to choose from but they’re all exactly the same as far as the courses and whatnot.

I bought a few Famicom exclusives transferred to NES carts from this guy, and the way it works is that you send him the donor cartridges and he reprograms them, sticks a new label on, and sends them back to you. I picked up all the random Technos games (mostly offshoots of River City Ransom) as well as the classic horror RPG Sweet Home, all for fairly cheap. It’s pretty great if you’re like me and you’ve just got a Tupperware full of duplicate games in your attic that you’re too lazy to sell and too much of a hoarder to get rid of. The reason I mention all of this is that certain games require certain donor carts I suppose because of their save battery or ram space or whatever, and the most common cartridge that’s compatible with everything is <SURPRISE> NES Open Tournament Golf. It’s like the O Negative of the NES library, everybody can live off it’s sweet, juicy insides.

Similar Games: Golf and all other games with the word GOLF in them

NES PLAY ACTION FOOTBALL | 1990

Growing up, I never really referred to this system as the “NES”, I just called it Nintendo. It wasn’t till much later when “Nintendo” could refer to multiple consoles and handhelds that I started hearing the OG called NES. And yet here we have another game with that acronym in the title, so clearly this was never a fanboy nickname but the official designation given to the system (outside of Japan anyway). There actually weren’t a ton of football games compared to other sports like baseball: there’s John Elway, the abysmal 10 Yard Fight, the futuristic and terrible Cyberball, and of course the still amazing to this day Tecmo Super Bowl (and it’s bastard son “regular” Tecmo Bowl). So how does NES Play Action Football measure up? Let’s…find out.

Well to start with, you can only choose from eight teams, all of whom have generic logos and are only designated by their city. So “Chicago” for instance is clearly replicating the Bears logo, but it just has the city’s name following the big C so as not to infringe on some copywrights. There’s two game modes, “vs Computer” and “1P Playoffs”, but they’re exactly the same. Once play starts, you’re given the generic playbook screen with options similar to Tecmo Super Bowl except instead of eight choices (four run and four pass), you’re given three options plus a punt. EXCEPT, once you select a play it gives you the chance to choose the “opposite” play, whatever that is. I guess they just couldn’t fit six plays on the screen, but what’s really weird is that THERE ARE NO PLAYS TO RUN THE BALL. IN A FOOTBALL GAME. On defense you have four options, but it doesn’t matter, they all pretty much do the same thing.

The first thing you’ll notice once you choose a play is how the field is setup. It’s at this weird diagonal 3/4s viewpoint. I found myself unconsciously tilting my head to the right as I played to compensate. Once you hike the ball I have no idea how to choose a target, no indicators appear or anything. I just mash buttons to throw and then run like hell, but holy shit your player moves SO SLOW. I’m not kidding, I can literally run the length of a football field in the time it takes this goober to make it 5 yards. After you get tackled it shows that player’s energy, speed, and block meters but I have no clue why that’s useful information. Not only can you not tell any player apart from each other, but even if you could you can’t choose who to give the ball to so their stats being good or bad matters not at all.

Ovetrall, NES Play Action Football is pretty awful: just bland, painfully slow paced, few teams to pick from, fewer plays to choose, no gameplay options, etc. Even if this had all the customization and variety of the aforementioned Tecmo Super Bowl, the graphics and controls are so poor that you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. With that said though, the next obscure football game really ain’t much better.

Similar Games: While it does resemble all the other football games, all of those either scroll up/down or left/right but not NES Play Action Football. Diagonal baby! Stay unique you beautiful bastard!

NFL FOOTBALL | 1989

What’s different about this game from NES Play Action Football? Well the first thing you’ll notice is a big ol’ official NFL logo on the title screen which means that this game features the actual teams, although I don’t think there are any actual players names used here. But hey, I get to play as my beloved Atlanta Falcons, so that’s not so bad! Wait, what’s that? LJN label?!? SPOKE TOO SOON!

First of all, instead of a screen that shows you the plays you can choose from, there’s a picture of a NES controller with no indication of what you’re supposed to do. I just randomly press buttons until the controller lights up and it takes me to the field. Now it shows for several seconds what the formation of the offense and defense is, but still no layout of what play you’re trying to run. Like Play Action before it, as far as I can tell you cannot run the ball (WHY?!?), just throw it which is so much more difficult than it needs to be. Also like that aforementioned garbage title, I cannot tell how to choose the target, there’s no arrows or blinking players or anything. And wow, I made fun of NES Play Action Football for being slow but Jesus Christ NFL Football is the real deal. Everything from the time to choose plays, to the time between screens loading, to the actual running speed of the players themselves moves at the most crippled of snail’s paces. Also, while there is some generic sports music playing on the select screens, once the actual game starts the only sounds are those of the crowd whistling. Majestic.

One small redeeming thing about NFL Football is that once you throw the ball it cuts to a screen with larger sprites and you have to track and position your player under the ball to catch it. It kinda reminds me of the frisbee section of California Games. It’s not great, but it’s kinda fun and I bet if you were playing against a friend this little battle screen would be the best part. Beyond that? Naw player, this game is a full pass.

I don’t know if it’s just my cartridge (it sounds like something’s rattling around in there), but this game seems real glitchy. Like the screen flashes and shakes whenever I choose an option and coding numbers randomly appear, way more than the usual issues a Q-tip and some Brasso will solve. Also, between every play it cuts to this awful blank brownish green screen for a few seconds; however, I think that’s just how they programmed it because they didn’t know what to do when the game needed to load. If the NES were a mood ring that changed colors based on the aura of the cartridge placed inside it, truly vomit green is the negative energy of NFL Football encapsulated.

Similar Games: 10 Yard Fight, California Games

NIGEL MANSELL’S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP RACING | 1993

Even though it’s pretty well known, I wanted to talk about Nintendo World Cup here only because soccer is my favorite sport and that game rules. But, this series is about obscure NES titles and NWC is fairly well known. However, as far as the Racing genre goes the NES library is chock full of unloved titles! Seriously, I have a complete set of NES games and I didn’t even know I owned most of these. I love R.C. Pro Am, Excitebike, Galaxy 5000, and other gems like Micro Machines, Rad Racer, and Super Off Road, but then there’s games I know I’ve never touched like Race America, Rally Bike, and Danny Sullivan’s Indy Heat. So, with that in mind, let’s pop one of these randos in and give it a go. Take it away Nigel!

Nigel Mansell’s World Championship racing is a formula one style racer where you…well you race on a track. It’s every racing game ever. One thing that makes it unique from other racing titles is that it’s in a faux first person perspective. The steering wheel is at the bottom of the screen and when you turn Nigel’s little hands move it back and forth. It looks pretty cool, I’m not gonna lie. Compare it with the atrocious Bill Elliott’s NASCAR Challenge and you’ll see why I’m so high on it. The graphics here are pretty damn good, at least in the way your car and the other vehicles, but the settings beyond the track are as generic as they come. The gameplay is straight forward accelerate, steer, and brake, but there is this little pit stop “mini game” where they change your tires. I mean it’s not really something you can play, just a totally unnecessary cutscene to breakup the monotony of the actual racing part of the game.

Something I think is pretty funny is that it gives you the option to put in your name, but instead of giving you a blank template to start there’s already a name written in: N. Mansell. So if your name is “Tim” for instance, you’re gonna have to go through each letter after the third and delete it. Fun! Another amusing thing about just the options screens is that there’s the dreaded “Music Off” choice that tells you right away just how shitty the sound is gonna be. Then I realized that there’s just one music track that plays and every time you choose an option it starts over. There’s a surprising amount of options and screens, so have fun hearing that same two seconds over and over again!

My favorite thing about Nigel Mansell’s World Championship Racing is that you can’t crash. This ain’t Rad Raced where a tight turn will send you off the road and flying. If you don’t take a turn well, all that happens is that your car hugs the barrier and slows down slightly. I mean you can go the entire race without once touching the D-Pad, I even did it while typing out this paragraph just to see how far I got! I mean you will for sure lose the race, but who cares! I often play video games just to shut off my brain for a little bit, but even then I have to think about where to jump or how to attack. Not anymore, now I’ve got this game to help me reach full 8-bit nirvanic bliss! Namaste y’all!

Similar Games: Formula One: Built to Win, Ferrari Grand Prix Challenge

OTHER LETTER N GAMES (CLASSICS)

Ninja Gaiden I-III, Nintendo World Cup (released on three separate official cartridges!), North and South

OTHER LETTER N GAMES WORTH TRYING

Nightshade, Nightmare on Elm Street, Nobunaga’s Ambition 1 & 2 (I had a friend who played these and swears by them)

OTHER LETTER N GAMES WORTH AVOIDING

Ninja Kid, Ninja Crusaders, NARC