10 Good Girl Behaviours Patriarchy Taught Us.
A gift that keeps on giving to self-esteem issues.
Wanna play? Shhh… not too loud here. Let us keep that for number 3 on our list. Let us just get through the first 2 first.
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- How does a brother have a problem with a sister’s body count when it is higher than his, equal to his and for some brothers, when there was someone who had ‘watered their garden before them?’ It should totally make sense that men want a virgin who is also a porn star in the bedroom, right? Makes total sense.
- Speaking of body counts and whores- because they go hand in hand (sorry to all the wokesters), did you know that the male equivalent of a cougar is manther? Didn’t know that? How could you my dear? I also found out while planning this article. Like seriously, ‘manther’ is a no- name because who cares? But cougar is so out there because everyone cares.
- And now, number 3. Do you know that women (at least here in Africa), have to be reallllllly mindful of how they talk? ‘Use your inner voice’, I should tell you, is so for the women. We have to mind how we come across so that we show we are good well behaved and well-mannered wife materials. Even when a man is screaming down your throat and insulting you, you answer him quietly- like a good woman should.
- Manspreading. Is there a word like -womanspreading? By the red line under that word as I type, I think I have my answer. Only men love taking space on trains, on planes and everywhere else. Totally their right and makeup.
READ: Every Time I Had To Discipline My Child
5. A nipple on a man, is a nipple- even on the front page of GQ magazine and everywhere else. A nipple on a woman? Call Instagram to ban that shit! A breastfeeding woman? Holy fowl!
6. Speaking of nipples and hair- yes hair. Mahsa Amini of Iran is dead NOT because she did not cover her hair but because she did not cover it properly. Try and Google how many men have died in Iran or elsewhere for not covering their hair. Exactly.
7. As an African woman, can I just tell you that you do not know ridiculous until you encounter morbidly obese men telling off their moderately sized girlfriends or wives for being fat and unattractive to them? I want to stop laughing here but, it is so ridiculous. I mean, a pot-bellied man is justified for cheating on his wife because she isn’t attractive anymore to him.
8. Stay-at-home moms is totally a thing. Yeyyyyyy. It is such a thing that in the US alone, 3 in 10 children are raised by their moms or 28 percent. Stay at home dads? That number is a whooping 7%. What can I tell you? Vaginas make better teachers.
READ: I Was In A Love Triangle And Loved It.
9. Speaking of vaginas making better something, coupled with big breasts, they also make better maids. Need a delicious home cooked meal? Need a well kept home? Need someone to really discipline the child? Yeyyyyyy vaginas!
10. I know many women will disagree here but, my truth? I needed to learn to dress for me, wear or not wear makeup for me and I do not have any inclination to get any work done on me because- I do not know how to justify that- for me. Do you dress for you?
Thank you for reading. I believe that patriarchy is not dead and in fact, thrives in so many places. An Igbo proverb says- if we do not know where the rain started to beat us, we will not know where it stopped. Patriarchy is almost like DNA because we are raised by people who are influenced by it and nurtured in an environment invested in it. I hope that by calling them out, we can give more thought to our influences.
My name is Adaobi Okwy. Please turn on Email Notification for my next post. Also, Buy me coffee?
