Panic Mode Activated: The reality of life in abuse
Thump… thump…thump
READ: SHH…15 Thoughts You Shouldn’t Have.
He is at the door.
I run to the corner of the room, just in front of my wardrobe. That is the furthest I can run in the tiny room. I hunch right there. My head is banging!
His keys turn in the lock.
My heart jumps into my throat- thump, thump, thummmmmp, thummmmmmmmmmmmp, th…th…thu…thmmmmmmmp and on and on.
Next comes the sweat. I don’t know where from given as my throat is suddenly very dry. My hands are shivering but the fan is not even on. It is a very hot day in tropical Africa and yet.
He pushes the door in.
My head begins to spin. Or maybe it is the room. I don’t know. I really don’t care. I want to scream but I clamp a damp palm over my mouth holding in the scream. He cannot…he cannot see me like this.
I blink furiously. No no no no no tears. I cannot have wet eyes. Please dear God, no.
Not this time. Not today. I hold one damp shivering hand over my mouth and use the other damp shivering hand to hold the side of my face- Hot. I am burning up. A minute ago, I did not have a fever…
His footsteps sound on the floor as he crosses the sitting room towards my room.
I gasp. The air has vanished in the room. hum hum hum my mouth drops open as I try to gulp in air. Hum hum hum over the thump thump th thhhhh thhhhhh thhumping of my heart.
He pushes open my door.
Somehow I am on my feet. A smile plastered on my face. Hand holding hand. I cannot give away anything.
I cannot hear, ‘Drama…drama queen’ one more time.
“Hi” I greet him with my biggest smile yet.
“Hi’ He sends back.
He says nothing else as he turns on his heels and walks away.
I did it. For the tenth time today, I have survived.
Thank you for reading.
My name is Adaobi Okwy. Please turn on Email Notification for my next post. Also, Buy me coffee?
