Give Constant and Sincere Criticism — The Power of Negative Thinking

If conspiracy theorists are to believed, and why shouldn’t they, then it’s abundantly clear that Jewish people control the media, banks, Hollywood, bagels, comedy clubs, the country of Israel, and probably a whole bunch of other things.

What the conspiracy theorists do not tell you is how these Jewish people really became powerful. Their theories are all chemtrails this and fluoride that, but the real answer is far more interesting. The answer is Jewish mothers.

World-renown for guilt-inducing, at least according to the various sitcoms I studied for this incredibly unracist topic, Jewish mothers are the clear vehicle for the success of the Jewish people. While I’m not particularly Jewish, I do have a guilt-inducing mother, and people have on occasion, asked if I am Jewish. Clearly this is because living with a guilt-inducing mother has led me to live a typically Jewish lifestyle of success and self-deprecation.

But it is not only Jewish people who excel. Many people who have had debilitating anxiety caused by a mother who simply can’t accept good enough for their child are extremely successful, albeit somewhat neurotic. If success is your criteria for a better life, then the power of negative thinking is becoming more and more obvious.

Negative thinking does not, however, just happen on its own. Leave a child free to roam the world while encouraging them, and not letting their mistakes rot their head for days, if not years, at a time would only lead to a child that is satisfied with simple pleasures like smiling, and self-confidence. One needs to instill negative thinking in others, and this is neither an easy or selfish task. Being able to creatively berate another, in subtle ways that address their pre-existing, if tiny, anxieties, is a task only for the ever-observant among us.

It does no good to cast a wide net when trying to bring another person down. You will only be relegated to a do-not-care list, but where you really wish to find yourself is in the frenemy zone. A frenemy is a delicate balance that one can only achieve by reminding a friend of how they constantly fail in small, but very perceptible ways. Criticizing their failures, however minor, under the veil of friendship and politeness, is a skill that is learned through time. I’m sure you’ll figure it out in time, I know things are a little harder for you than for most.

Look forward to more chapters in my new book, The Power of Negative Thinking: by Who Would Publish This Press

Chapter 1: The Power of Negative Thinking
Chapter 2: The Downward Spiral
Chapter 3: Become genuinely uninterested in people
Chapter 4: Give constant and sincere criticism
Chapter 5: Frown
Chapter 6: Getting by: how to look busy while doing nothing
Chapter 7: Stop blaming your parents, blame yourself
Chapter 8: How to lose friends and influence your cat
Chapter 9: The Power of Later
Chapter 10: The Secret (there is none, you’re an idiot)