The Power of Negative Thinking
Chapter 1: The Power of Negative Thinking
Many studies have espoused the virtues of positive thinking; their benefits many, from reducing stress to improving happiness. Shelves upon shelves have been dedicated at what remains of book stores on improving positive thinking. However, very little research has been undertaken to understand the benefits of negative thinking.
For one, negative thinking is less likely to make you an insufferable turd. There is no worse person I could imagine sharing an elevator with than a positive thinker. Imagine being stuck in such an elevator, for however many excruciating minutes you can come up with. A positive thinker would, through perhaps no fault of their own, find a way to make this terrible situation seem somehow wonderful.
They may espouse the virtues of being alone with your thoughts (a horrid nightmare), or marvel at the technological advancements that have brought us the ability to travel through air with a cable (this isn’t exactly rocket science), or otherwise simply try to lift spirits when all one might want to do is stew.
Consider if the elevator were, instead, filled with two negative thinkers. Together, a bond would form. They might investigate the most recent elevator license, posted in a conspicuous place, for any signs that may have foretold the event. Perhaps it was recently expiring. Surely, the numbered incorporation was a sign of shoddy maintenance. Together they would begin their hatred of everything at the bottom and work their way up, building a community of shame within their small enclove.
From the license, they would then move to the elevator company. This certainly was no OTIS elevator. In fact, neither of the two could recall seeing a name stamped as they entered. Surely, an elevator who is not proud of its origins could not be an elevator worth riding. And what kind of company would ever buy an off-brand elevator? What No Frills garbage corporation would think of putting lives at risk to save a few dollars on some Made in China elevator that could hardly have passed even the most rudimentary of inspections?
This is surely a sign, they would agree, that society has really begun to fail. People are no longer looking for quality, but only the cheapest goods, and this is putting pressures on companies everywhere to find the cheapest way to do almost everything, and this elevator is no exception. Yes, society really is falling apart, and every pre-existing inclination to such a conclusion has really been reinforced now by this awful event.
To call it an event is not even truly justified, it is not an isolated event, but the natural conclusion to a long line of events that has been obvious to anyone who would spend even a minute paying any attention at all. Surely, society is as doomed as we are, the two would continue. Perhaps this elevator is doing us all a favour by being stuck, for we’ll likely either fall to our deaths, or end up dead from exposure, for there surely can’t be enough oxygen in here to last us any longer.
Finally, when it seems the thoughts had spiraled out of control, the elevator will begin to move, and in what seems like no time at all, the two will have found their day continues. The lesson is obvious, nothing will help pass the time, or help two strangers bond, more so than negative thinking.
Look forward to more chapters in my new book, The Power of Negative Thinking: by Who Would Publish This Press
Chapter 1: The Power of Negative Thinking
Chapter 2: The Downward Spiral
Chapter 3: Become genuinely uninterested in people
Chapter 4: Give constant and sincere criticism
Chapter 5: Frown
Chapter 6: Getting by: how to look busy while doing nothing
Chapter 7: Stop blaming your parents, blame yourself
Chapter 8: How to lose friends and influence your cat
Chapter 9: The Power of Later
Chapter 10: The Secret (there is none, you’re an idiot)
