SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Prisoner of Personality III
Out of the SEA: How Our Substitutions, Escapes and Addictions Sabotage Our Mastery of Life
…TIME TO DISCOVER AND EXPLORE…
AS I CONTINUE TO PROCESS MY OWN JOURNEY of self-discovery and -improvement, I frequently meet with individuals who face challenges similar to those that I now face or have previously faced. It’s as if many of us are intent on reinventing the wheel of personal growth and life mastery. How can it be that even with the multitudes of practices, philosophies and gurus that have existed in the world for millennia, a vast number of our species still seems broken, lost and in despair?
We bear witness to an era of history when a great portion of the people across the globe are acknowledging their right to determine the direction of their own lives. Profound technological, scientific, medical and social advances have introduced attainable comforts to the average person. We have moved into a phase that offers vast opportunities to focus on other aspects of life outside of physical security, such as time to discover and explore the authentic Self in relation to the Collective.
The idea that a person’s worth and character are determined by family, or doctrine, or community, or government is being challenged because it’s less acceptable to control the make-up and future of other individuals’ lives. The old patterns are not as blindly followed as in the past, so the answer to the question “Who am I?” is no longer limited to “Chinese” or “Muslim” or “woman” or “Baker” — My father was a baker; thus, am I a baker. We’re driven to reject the mandates that tell us what to do or who to be. It’s the individual who creates the Self and, with it, a new, blessed reality in which an ever-growing number of us has the chance to live out our passions and authentic expressions.
As we strive to depose the authorities who, for much of human history, have decided our path, we nurture the faith that creativity and cooperation, instead of subservience and greed, will be the foundation of our social infrastructures and interactions.
…THE FAMILIARITY OF THE SEA…
YET I FIND MYSELF ASKING DISHEARTENING QUESTIONS:
- Why hasn’t the last century of pursuing autonomy of choice and authentic expression led us to the promised land of communal abundance, personal fulfillment and global peace?
- Why do many of us fall short of the desired outcome?
- Where is this promised land we have been urged to dream into existence?
Unfortunately, the answer comes to me without comfort:
Because this endeavor is so unprecedented.
Never in recorded history have so many humans felt entitled to free will and self-expression. And with each generation, fewer of us are able to tolerate the collective control over our being. We throw ourselves into the unknown to learn a better, more-authentic way to live. But we find it hard to process and come to terms with the colossal and daunting concept that we are beings of wondrous potential and are responsible for our reactions to our experiences. Having refused our “predetermined” paths and with no one else to blame if it all goes wrong, many of us falter and end up back where we started — feeling aimless, bewildered and forsaken.
And because we have nothing else to fall back on we flee to the familiarity of the SEA — reverting back to a simpler form of being for fear of the journey needed to actualize our own greatness. We drown ourselves, one after another — lemmings herded to a communal self-destruction — in our desperation to feel relief, find belonging, hide from what is and have an identity, in our “fight to become a fish”.
The SEA:
(S)ubstitutions
(E)scapes
(A)ddictions
We live in a paradoxical state…
It’s deliciously thrilling to believe that we have the right and capacity to create the life we desire. Yet, it’s this knowledge that terrifies us and stops us from doing just that. And we find ourselves trapped by a volley of doubts and questions:
- Which signs do I follow?
- How can I avoid danger?
- What’s at the end of the road?
- What is the correct answer?
- How long will it take?
- What if I fail?
- How much will it hurt?
- What if I hurt someone else?
- What if…? What if…? What if…?
When we lose the foundation of our identity and security, regardless of how false or weak it may have been, we feel naked. And our ego, suffering from the exposure that comes with pursuing self-determination, may deny the lessons it’s being taught, such as:
- Suffering shows us where danger lies. This is how we learn to be cautious of certain acts and situations.
- Suffering is not just a detection of danger; it can also be a tool that leads to insight and understanding… if we choose to face it with respect, curiosity and intention.
- Living in fear of suffering and avoiding pain can hinder the progress of personal development and delay resolution.
…ENTHRALLED BY A NEED…
UNFORTUNATELY MANY INDIVIDUALS VEER toward evasive behaviors when they’re overwhelmed, leaping blindly from one ecstatic or sedated state to the next, in an attempt to minimize any discomfort that may come with self-evaluation. And while pleasure and comfort, in themselves, aren’t evil, the obsession with being pleased or comfortable is often destructive. These states that mimic the sublimity of self-actualization are actually self-deception. When we allow ourselves to be entangled in activities that misinform and manipulate our mindset, discernment, and willingness to evolve, we can become enthralled by a need that demands more and more from us until we have nothing left of ourselves, our principles or our ambitions. It’s this demand — this control over our person — that’s the real evil. It eats away our motivation, talent, power, intuition, and focus, leaving us at its mercy and incapable of being masters of our own experience.
We individuals must accept accountability for the state of our existence. And though we may not always be able to create exactly what we want when we want to, we have the opportunity to learn to regulate our minds, emotions, and energies so that when opportunity to advance arises, we will be ready to take it. But to do this we must become informed about our nature, our authentic desires, and the state of our being.
This type of work is excavation — a burrowing down into our depths to uncover truths about ourselves we’ve been unaware of or avoiding. It’s challenging, persistent work that can also be exceedingly rewarding if we’re dedicated, and don’t get diverted into the SEA too deeply or for too long.
So how do we effect such a change in ourselves?
…PART OF THE WHOLE…
EACH OF US MUST ASK OURSELVES SOME DIFFICULT QUESTIONS:
- Is the person I desire to become more important than the SEA I’ve been hiding in?
- Do I truly wish to address my shadow side?
- Am I courageous enough to learn to stand in my power and against individuals, groups, entities, circumstances, etc., that try to sabotage or misappropriate my path — myself included?
- Am I willing to do whatever it takes to reach my goal of self-actualization, even if it causes discomfort or pain?
- Will I pick myself back up if I hit the bottom of the rock again and again?
- Can I move from trauma to triumph?
- Do I believe my untapped potential is worth the effort?
- Do I believe in myself?
- Do I really want to be the master of my own experience?
I want you to know that you’re not alone. Progressively more of us have access to ancient wisdom, esoteric practices, new thought, conscious mentors, and cutting edge modalities to fuel our edification. As part of the whole, each individual has influence on the whole and has the right to determine the state of its life. And as more of us use the surgical lens of self-scrutiny to self-actualize, in spite of trauma, fear, and obstacles, the closer we come to creating the thriving, abundant world we envision.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my work. This is a part of an ongoing series. Though the pieces share similar themes, can be read in chronological order, and link back to each other, they are also self-contained. Feel free to examine the other sections in whatever way works for you.
If you’re interested in something different, you can peruse my poetry and short stories on my profile and my personal publication, The All-Self.
