Sam Woods – Medium

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Sam Woods
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Slackjaw

An Open Letter To Guys Over 25 Who Sleep On A Mattress On The Floor

Maximize storage and stop looking like a dick with one purchase.

3 min readJun 25, 2021

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An Open Letter To Guys Over 25 Who Sleep On A Mattress On The Floor

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Sam Woods
in
Slackjaw

Apology Letter From Your Dad Mad Libs

When I think about how I let you down, I [Sad Verb].

2 min readJun 20, 2021

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Apology Letter From Your Dad Mad Libs

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Sam Woods
in
Slackjaw

The Conservative’s Guide To Leaving The Country When You’ve Never Been Out Of The Country

Migration is nigh!

3 min readNov 17, 2020

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The Conservative’s Guide To Leaving The Country When You’ve Never Been Out Of The Country

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Sam Woods
in
Slackjaw

Sci-Fi/Fantasy Character Or Medicinal Herb?

Isn’t there a wizard named Lungwort?

1 min readMar 3, 2021

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Sci-Fi/Fantasy Character Or Medicinal Herb?

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Sam Woods
in
Slackjaw

I’m The Effervescent Creature Who Writes The Promises Quotes For Dove Chocolate And I’m Answering…

Burning questions from my scorching fans.

4 min readNov 28, 2020

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I’m The Effervescent Creature Who Writes The Promises Quotes For Dove Chocolate And I’m Answering…

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Sam Woods
in
The Junction

I’m a Lawyer, and I Hope You Have Mesothelioma

I’m not sure what it is either, but let’s make some money

2 min readSep 27, 2020

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I’m a Lawyer, and I Hope You Have Mesothelioma

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Sam Woods
in
The Bigger Picture

Four Dudes Play Dungeons & Dragons

And one of them tries to get hot-hot with the innkeeper

3 min readAug 12, 2020

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Four Dudes Play Dungeons & Dragons

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Sam Woods
in
The Junction

Make Your Friends Feel Little With These Big Words

Using these vocabulary morsels, you can condescend with ease.

2 min readJul 5, 2020

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An open dictionary.

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Sam Woods
in
The Bigger Picture

How to Survive the 9-to-5 Grind with Blood Magic

So, you’ve signed a contract with the Producer, the Lazy One, our tiny King — now what? A little magic.

3 min readJul 1, 2020

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How to Survive the 9-to-5 Grind with Blood Magic

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Sam Woods

Sam Woods

Humor featured in McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, The Junction, and The Bigger Picture | Writing funny TV Scripts | Based in Los Angeles

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