Can Your Soulmate Hurt You?

Sophia Rose
6 min readSep 28, 2023

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You finally found your soulmate. This amazing person who feels like your other half — the one who completes you. The connection is deep, the chemistry is off the charts. But then something changes. The hurt starts. This soulmate who claimed to adore you suddenly criticizes, ignores, or betrays you. You’re left wondering, how could my soulmate hurt me like this?

Finding your soulmate is supposed to be the pinnacle of relationships. But what happens when this divine partner brings more pain than joy? Get insight into why soulmates hurt each other and what you can do to handle it.

Key Takeaways

  1. Soulmates can hurt you deeply because of the intense bond you share. Their wounds and fears may lead them to harm you without intending to.
    2. Don’t justify hurtful actions just because it’s your soulmate. Look at why you accept treatment you wouldn’t from others.
    3. Set boundaries around behavior you won’t tolerate — disrespect, lying, abuse. Follow through on consequences.
    4. Hurtful patterns can potentially heal if your soulmate does the work — counseling, self-reflection, building emotional skills.
    5. For reunion after pain, your soulmate must fully own their actions, show real change, and rebuild trust.
    6. It takes two people committed to growth to transform a hurtful bond into a healthy relationship.
    7. You define your happiness. Other relationships can fulfill you too if you and your soulmate separate. Your well-being comes first.

Why Would Your Soulmate Hurt You?

Soulmates develop profound bonds and feel things deeply. This double-edged sword means they can love you tremendously but also cut you to the core.

Deep Feelings Lead To Hurt

Such intensity magnifies everything — including pain. High passions and anxieties often intertwine. Your soulmate’s wounds and insecurities may unintentionally hurt you. They likely don’t mean harm, but aren’t able to navigate these deep waters skillfully.

Denial Of The Bond

If your soulmate denies the connection, their reaction could sting. They may push you away while sorting out intense feelings. Remember, their struggle is more about their journey than a personal rejection of you.

Working Through Their Own Issues

Your soulmate could lash out due to their own problems — addiction, childhood trauma, mental health challenges. Their pain spills onto you. It’s not an excuse for abuse, but provides insight into motivations.

Fear Of Vulnerability

Opening your heart is terrifying. Your soulmate may pull back or act out to avoid feeling exposed. Deep intimacy can bring up past hurts that lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Avoiding Difficult Lessons

Life with your soulmate is a learning experience. Avoiding necessary lessons causes disharmony which breeds hurt. Tensions rise when either party resists growth.

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Why Do You Allow Hurtful Behavior?

You may justify harmful actions from your soulmate. Consider why you accept treatment you wouldn’t from anyone else:

  • The connection — You explain away hurt because of your profound bond. Don’t use this as an excuse.
  • Hope — You believe your soulmate will change and you’ll have your “happily ever after.”
  • Fear — Ending things with your soulmate feels terrifying, so you stay.
  • Love — Despite their flaws, your feelings remain strong, keeping you stuck.
  • Loneliness — Leaving means being alone, which feels worse than the hurt.
  • Low self-worth — You don’t feel deserving of real love and respect

When To Take Action

Don’t tolerate abuse just because it comes from your soulmate. There are times you must take a stand:

  • If they physically hurt you.
  • If they have affairs or are unfaithful.
  • If the relationship deteriorates your self-esteem.
  • If they violate major values like honesty and respect.
  • If you walk on eggshells to avoid blow ups.
  • If your hurt turns to resentment and mistrust.

Use pain as a catalyst for change, not an excuse for complacency.

Tips For Handling A Hurtful Soulmate

If your soulmate regularly causes harm, use these strategies:

  • Communicate — Clearly express how their actions make you feel. Don’t hint. Be direct.
  • Set boundaries — State what you will no longer tolerate. Follow through.
  • Allow space — Take a break if needed. Absence helps gain perspective.
  • Seek counseling — A professional can help you navigate choppy waters.
  • Practice self-care — Focus on your well-being. You can’t change others.
  • Reflect — Is this relationship balanced? Do you enable bad behavior?
  • Let go — If your soulmate refuses to change and the hurt persists, move on.

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Can Soulmates Reunite After Pain?

If one soulmate damages the relationship, is reconnection possible down the road?

Yes, if true change occurs. With self-work, counseling, or spiritual growth, your soulmate may develop emotional skills to relate lovingly.

For reunion to succeed certain steps are vital:

  • Your soulmate must take full responsibility for their actions.
  • The hurtful patterns need to be broken.
  • You both must rebuild trust and forgiveness.
  • The relationship restarts with a clean slate.

Without these prerequisites, painful patterns will likely resurface.

If you separated from your hurtful soulmate but still feel an inexorable bond, explore these options:

  • Give it time — Allow change to solidify before reopening the door.
  • Start slowly — Test the waters with limited contact to gauge their progress.
  • Trust, but verify — Wanting reunion can cloud judgment. Observe don’t assume.
  • Set boundaries — Make expectations clear. Don’t tolerate anything hurtful.
  • Proceed with caution — It takes immense work to truly alter dynamics.

Can You Have a Healthy Relationship With a Hurtful Soulmate?

With effort, hurtful patterns can transform into healthy relating. It takes two willing partners.

Success means both must:

  • Take responsibility for their part
  • Desire real change
  • Commit to personal growth
  • Replace dysfunction with respect
  • Develop emotional intelligence
  • Become the best version of themselves

This level of work is challenging but worthwhile if both soulmates aspire to deep love.

FAQs About Hurtful Soulmates

Q: Why do soulmates run hot and cold?

A: Their intense emotions can fluctuate wildly. Fear of vulnerability also contributes.

Q: Do you have multiple soulmates?

A: Potentially yes. You may have several meaningful connections in a lifetime.

Q: Can you be soulmates if only one feels the bond?

A: A strong one-sided draw is possible. But mutual recognition makes it click.

Q: Are soulmates guaranteed to be together?

A: No. Timing issues, emotional baggage, or unwillingness can separate soulmates.

Q: How do you know it’s really your soulmate?

A: Intense chemistry, a profound sense of knowing, and shared values/goals indicate a soulmate.

Q: Can I have a happy life without my soulmate?

A: Yes! You define your happiness. Other relationships can fulfill you too.

In Closing

A soulmate relationship holds tremendous potential — for both profound love and deep hurt. While these waters aren’t easy to navigate, with self-work a hurtful soulmate bond can transform into a healthy union. Or you can choose to direct your ship elsewhere. Your well-being comes first. You deserve to feel cherished in love.

Visit my blog Wisdom of The Spirit for more articles about spirituality and astrology.

Read my other articles here:

What Happens When Your Twin Flame Dies?
Do Soulmates Have the Same Birthday?
How Long Does A Libra Man Stay Mad?
Will Libra Man Come Back After Ghosting?
Why Are Geminis So Moody?
Why Are Geminis So Hot?
Can Your Soulmate Hurt You?

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Sophia Rose

NOLA-born, skeptic-turned-seer. In Bali, sharing spiritual insights on medium. Unraveling soul paths with mystic energy